


Moving Forward.  1-4/4.

by punky_96



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 03:40:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 33,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14824571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punky_96/pseuds/punky_96
Summary: Re-post from LJ.AU:  It's Callica, but a year later and different.





	1. Mini-Twin

**_Moving Forward_**  
  
“Doctor Torres to trauma 1 immediately.”  
  
Callie jumps up from her hiding place on the third floor, spilling her chips and knocking over her water bottle.  “Oh, shit.”  She grabs the water bottle before it can spill, then notices that the cap was on for once.  “Oh.”  She scoops the chips onto the medical journal she was reading and throws it all in the trash.  
  
“What have we got?”  Mark is waiting outside the trauma room for her, but he blocks her and puts his hands on her shoulders forcing her to make eye contact with him.  
  
“What, Mark?”  
  
He is eyeing her, sizing her up, questioning her with his blue eyes. He hasn’t done this in a while and she tries to shake him off.  “It’s truth time, Torres.  Do you have a love child or favorite niece that looks exactly, creepily like you?”  
  
“What?  Mark please I have to get to the trauma I was paged.”  
  
“Now here’s the thing.”  He adjusts his hold on her but doesn’t let her go.  “Callie.  I need to know before you go into that trauma room.”  
  
“Mark.  Please.”  Callie pushes past him and is shocked to see a young version of herself on the table.  “Oh.”  Callie stops short of the table and covers her mouth with her hand.  
  
Mark is by her side with a tender touch and calm voice, “Oh, Callie.  I tried to tell you.”  He’s holding her.  “So, do you know her?”  
  
At first Callie is speechless, it looks as though her younger self has time traveled to 2009 and gotten mangled on the way.  “No.  No, I don’t know her, but she could be me at age 11.  What happened?  What are the injuries?”  
  
Lexie looks concerned but she gives a quick and definite reply.  “She’s unconscious, we’ve paged Shepherd.  She has some broken ribs and a punctured lung.  It would appear that the right ankle is broken and the left side of her hip is dislocated.  Her scans are here.”  
  
“What the hell happened to her?”  Callie snaps.  Lexie doesn’t move an inch.  
  
“The paramedics said that she was a victim of a hit-and-run. A neighbor called it in.”  
  
“Okay let’s get her up to the OR.”  
  
***  
  
Callie is scrubbing out when Mark comes in.  “Are you okay?”  
  
She shakes her head.  “Yeah.  I guess I’m alright.”  
  
“Are you sure?  The surgery ended ten minutes ago and you’ve been washing your hands this whole time.”  He turns off the water for her and hands her a towel.  
  
“It’s just freaky, you know.”  
  
“Operating on children is always difficult.”  He says making eye contact with her again.  His eyes so deep blue that she is taken back for a moment by them.  Sometimes she forgets that they all have blue eyes.  Addison, Mark, Erica—they all had the most expressive blue eyes.  Only Mark remains though, but he’s seriously distracted by Little Grey.  Lately he seems to be channeling Callie’s sadness and he’s hovering around more.  Callie wonders if he realizes that it’s been a year since Erica left without a word.    
  
“Yeah.  But this is different.  She could have been my child, Mark.  You saw that.”  Callie looks at him then like she did the day he called her on her thoughts about Erica in this very scrub room.  She sucked in her air and denied him with her body language and facial expression, but then she let him in and countered him.  She sighs now, “I’m not very old, 34, but she’s what 11, 12?  She could be my daughter and what then? She’s alone, Mark.  She’s alone, unconscious and unidentified.”  
  
“So she’s not your long-lost love child, then?”  He asks with a smirk.  
  
Callie slaps him, “I thought you were being my understanding friend.  Not imagining me getting knocked up at 22!  Jeez Mark!”  
  
“She just looks so much like you.  It’s insane.  Besides Izzie Stevens has one.”  
  
“Now you’ve done it, Mark.”  She begins slapping him relentlessly about the head and shoulders and he flees for safety.  
  
“Lexie.”  He shouts in the hallway.  
  
“That’s unprofessional and a coward’s defense!”  Callie yells after him.  
  
As he continues down the hallway he taunts back at her, “I can’t hit a girl, Torres.”  
  
***  
  
Callie goes down to the little girl’s room.  She’s not so little, but all banged up, hooked up to a bunch of machines, and alone—she seems little.  Callie can’t shake the feeling that this little girl could be hers in some parallel universe.  She had always wanted a baby, but it never was the right time.  Callie thinks of George again and shakes her head.  
  
Callie checks the girl’s vitals and decides to sit down.  She doesn’t have to be anywhere yet and her residents are supposed to call her when they need her nowadays.  She is an attending after all and this is her case.  After a while Callie starts to drift off, only to be startled awake by the girl talking in her sleep and tossing and turning.   
  
“No.  No.  Not both of them.  Not Mommy and Daddy.  NO.  No, they’ll come back.  They have to come back.  No.  I don’t believe you.  No. Not dead.  Not both of them.”  The girl is talking in her sleep and fighting some unseen demon in her mind.  It is a mixed-up jumble amounting to something about her parents both being gone—possibly dead.  As Callie readies the medication to make her go into deeper sleep, a tear slides down her cheek.  
  
Callie sits next to the bed now, dragging the chair closer.  She holds the girl’s hand and smooths her hair off her forehead.  “There, there.  You’re safe now.  You’re in a hospital, but you’re safe.  We’re taking good care of you.”  Callie rests her forehead on the edge of the bed and holds the girl’s hand letting the tears fall onto the floor in an off-rhythm to the machines.  
  
***  
  
Lexie finally brings a distraught looking woman to the room startling Callie awake.  She jumps up, smoothing her scrubs and wiping her tears off her cheeks.  “Grey?”  She asks in a warning tone.  
  
“I think she knows the girl.  She came in with a picture and…”  Lexie is about to continue with the life story of this woman, but Callie holds up her hand and she stops.  
  
“Thank you, Dr. Grey.  Ma’am?”  Callie turns to the woman as Lexie backs away.  “Do you know this girl?  What happened?”  
  
“Her name is Kathleen Torres.  I was babysitting her…”  
  
“Did you say Torres?  Her last name is Torres?”  Callie’s jaw drops again.  
  
“Yes.  Kathleen Torres.  You heard me right, dear. Doctor uhh?”  
  
“Callie Torres.  Dr. Torres.  And you are?”  
  
“Trishia Bratten.  What happened, I mean what are her injuries?”  
  
“She was unconscious when the paramedics brought her in.  She has some broken ribs, a punctured lung, dislocated hip and fractured ankle.”  
  
“Oh my.  Is she?  Is she going to be alright?”  
  
“We are monitoring her very closely, but she hasn’t fully come out of recovery and we’re keeping her medicated to keep her calm.  She was agitated and thrashing around earlier.”  
  
“What happened to her?”  
  
“The paramedics said that she was a victim of a hit and run on a residential street.”  
  
“Oh my.  No.  That’s horrible.  I was watching her. She just went home for something she left…”  The woman is sobbing and Callie offers her a tissue and motions to the chair.  
  
***  
  
“Mark?”  Callie pokes her head into the on-call room where Mark normally hangs out.  He’s so predictable, but Callie is afraid of what she might see in the on-call room.  He and Lexie have been all doe-eyed over each other for the past year.  Apparently, her love-life had to suffer, but everyone else’s could blossom.  Christina and Owen, Lexie and Mark, and even the rest of the brat pack have seemed happy this year.  
  
“Yeah?”  He responds.  
  
“Can I turn on the light?”  
  
He chuckles and she hits the switch.  
  
“Her name is Torres!”  Callie whisper shouts.  
  
“Whose name is Torres?  You know your own name.”  
  
“The little girl from the hit and run.  Her name is Kathleen Torres.”  
  
“Really? So, is her family here?”  
  
“No, Mark.  The babysitter is here, but she had a breakdown so I left her in the room with her.  I figure Lexie can check on her.  I’m freaked out.”  
  
“Oh, what now Callie?”  
  
“Erica’s mother was named Kathleen.”  
  
“So this girl looks like you.  Could be your child by age.  Has Erica’s mother’s name and your last name?  Is that everything?”  
  
“Oh.  God, I hope so.”  
  
***  
  
“Lexie, what’s the status?  Where’s Ms. Bratten?”  
  
“She’s outside contacting Kathleen’s family.  Her condition is stable.”  
  
“Good.  Ok.  With the pneumothorax she can’t be left alone, so if neither of us are able to be here or Ms. Bratten isn’t here then you need to assign one of your interns to be at her side.  Am I clear?”  
  
“Dr. Torres, you know that you are clear.  But yes, I’ll assign someone should we need to be away from her.”  
  
“How did she find the girl?  The babysitter—how did she come here?”  
  
“She said that she was babysitting Kathleen and that she had wanted her teddy bear from home.  She only lived five blocks away and so she was supposed to run home and back, but she never came back.  Mrs. Bratten went to Kathleen’s house and it was dark with no sign of her.  So, she traced back down the road looking in people’s yards, bushes, and so on.  She found the bear that Kathleen went home to get lying in a gutter and she could see where there had been police flares and stuff indicating an accident of some kind.  She knocked on doors until someone was able to tell her what happened.  Then she had to figure out whether they took the girl to Mercy West or here.”  
  
“Nice work, Grey.  I’m glad you’re on with me today.”  Callie nods at Grey dismissing her and turns back to Kathleen’s doorway to check on her.  Ms. Bratten is still not here, so Callie takes up watch at the girl’s bedside.  
  
Kathleen has started rustling around again and talking in her sleep.  Mark comes by and his jaw drops as he stands in the doorway looking at Callie at Kathleen’s beside.  “You do make quite the pair.”  He says scratching his jaw.  Callie gives her more medicine and then joins Mark just outside the doorway.  
  
“So it’s not just me, right?  I mean this is a crazy coincidence.  Like crazier than most coincidences?”  
  
“Speaking of crazy coincidence.  Look.”  And he physically turns Callie around to face down the hallway.  
  
Erica Hahn, in red scrubs, is walking down the hall talking animatedly with Ms. Bratten.  The lady is crying and blubbering as they walk down the hall.  Callie shakes her head as the flashback becomes so real that she can’t stand it.  But when she opens her eyes, not only is Erica Hahn still walking down the hall, she’s closer now.  “Pinch me. Hard.  Now.  Now, Mark.”  
  
He pinches her and she flinches, but when she looks Erica Hahn is still walking down the hall in her red scrubs and talking to Ms. Bratten.  It looks as if Erica Hahn has come to take over her case.  What in the name of holy cheeseballs is going on?  
  
Then they are upon them and Erica Hahn finally looks up, recognizing the two other doctors and that she has arrived at the patient’s room.  Only Callie sees that this is not Erica Hahn.  This is just Erica.  Her Erica and she’s crying and freaked out and dazed.  “Erica? Hahn?”  Callie stumbles out.  
  
“Oh, Callie, I’m so glad that you’re her attending.  Thank you.”  
  
With that she rushes into the room ignoring Callie and Mark.  As Erica settles in by the girl’s bedside Ms. Bratten rushes forward talking to her.  Callie and Mark retreat to the nurses’ station across the hall.  
  
“What the hell was that?”  
  
“I don’t know.  Are those red scrubs?  She must be back at Mercy West.”  
  
“Mercy or what’s the one off the 5 and 99 in Northgate?”  
  
“You mean Northwest?”  
  
“Yeah.  That’s the one.”  
  
“Isn’t Kay-Shiley the head of Cardio over there?”  
  
“Yeah.  But they just got a new chief of surgery.  Do you think?”  
  
“Oh.  Wow.”  
  
“I second that Wow and raise you three WTFs.”  
  
“I call you on that.”  
  
“Are you going to talk to her?”  
  
“I guess I have to.  I’m the attending on her case.”  
  
***  
  
“What can I do for you, Dr. Torres?”  Callie can’t believe that she has paged Lexie Grey to go in there, but that is what she did.  Callie is hiding out at the nurses’ station across from the room spying on Erica Hahn and it’s been hours.  Callie just can’t make herself go in there.  
  
“You can go check on the patient.  Talk to her family.  And report back.”  
  
“Dr. Torres?”  
  
“What?”  Callie asks exasperated by Grey’s timid question.  
  
“I know who her family is.  Why aren’t you going in there?”  
  
“If you are asking me that:  then I know Mark is not a good friend to me, and you know exactly why I am not going in there.  She’s been here for hours and the neighbor lady brought her a bag of stuff a while ago, but she’s so miserable.”  Callie stops and glares at Lexie.  “Here’s the chart.  Go.”  Lexie’s face drops, but her eyes twinkle.  
  
“Ok, Dr. Torres.  I’m going.”  
  
***  
  
Lexie looks like she has just had a brush with all nine of her cat lives at once as she steps over to the nurse’s station and looks around cautiously.  Callie wants to laugh because she has just gone in to see Dr. Hahn, and not Erica, apparently.  Lexie is more pale than normal and all of her nervous twitches are ready to explode including that crazy rambling thing she does so well.  Callie can’t help but open the floodgates.  “What happened?”  
  
“She took the chart after I told her everything and she said to send you in so you could stop hovering outside.”  Lexie is shocked.  She looks like Erica threatened to cut her heart out with a steak knife and whacked her on the backside with the chart.  Callie can’t help but smile at the thought of the Rage of Erica Hahn.  This more than anything provides Callie with the motivation to stand and approach the room.  An angry Hahn is a Hot Hahn and Callie knows she shouldn’t be thinking that, but she is.  
  
“Is her lung stable?  Is she going to walk?”  No joke, all punch line.  Erica Hahn is a defensive tigress hovering over her young cub.  
  
“She’s stable, there are no signs of other internal bleeding.  We bandaged the pneumothorax, aspirated it with a needle and will continue to monitor and take regular x-rays.  We did not need a chest tube.  I reset her hip and put a cast on her ankle.”  
  
“Thank you, Callie.”  
  
“Are you.  Are you ok?”  
  
“Yes.  If she’s going to be okay then I will be.  I just need some time alone with her.”  
  
“Oh.  Ok.  Well, I’ve assigned someone to be here all the time, but I’ll tell them to follow your lead.”  
  
***  
  
Tuesday goes by and Ms. Bratten comes for a couple of hours around lunchtime.  Callie sits in with the neighbor and the little girl.  Erica goes into a conference room down the hall and makes calls on her cell phone.  Other than that Erica doesn’t leave and doesn’t eat.  
  
“She looks a lot like you, Dr. Torres.”  
  
“Yes.  I still can’t believe how similar we look.  How long have you known them?  You’re here to help out.  That is so rare to see in a hospital.  Usually it’s just the family and it’s pretty lonely.”  
  
“Oh.  I think if you were babysitting and the girl was hit by a crazy lunatic, that you’d be here to help.  Besides I’m semi-retired and she’s my granddaughter’s best friend.”  
  
“So you’ve known them a long time?”  
  
“Only a few months.”  
  
Callie hears a noise and turns to the door to see Erica.  Their eyes lock momentarily.  Callie can see the toll the night and the stress have taken on Erica and she can see in her eyes just how much she is hurting.  Erica just nods at her and turns into the small bathroom.  Callie leaves to do rounds.  
  
***  
  
On Wednesday a runner comes in the morning with some folders.  Erica looks at them and begins making notes.  At lunchtime when she is in the conference room the runner comes back and brings new folders, taking the old ones with him.  Ms. Bratten sits with Kathleen and reads her a story.  Callie watches from the nurses’ station.  
  
A shocked Cristina stands next to her at the counter.  The sudden contact breaking Callie out of her quiet ponderings.  “How is Hahn here?  Is she back?”  
  
Callie snorts.  She pushes off the counter turning to look at Cristina.  She wonders if she’s serious.  “No.  Have you seen her?  Don’t be silly and she’s in her red scrubs.”  
  
“Well, what is she doing here? Haunting a conference room?”  
  
“I don’t know exactly, but the little girl in Room 129 is hers apparently.”  
  
“What?  How is that possible?  She looks exactly like you and her name is Torres?”  
  
“Crazy creepy, eh?”  
  
“Yeah, you’re telling me.  I’m creeped out and I’m not even named Torres or look like her.  I can’t believe you’re her attending as well.  As if there wasn’t enough craziness.”  
  
“I can’t believe it’s been a year and this is how I see her.”  
  
“Has.  Has she talked to you?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Are you going to talk to her?”  
  
“I don’t know.”  
  
“Should I go away now?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Ok.”  
  
***  
  
Callie comes to check on Kathleen before the end of her shift on Thursday.  She has brought in her favorite bear from home.  Ms. Bratten described the bear that Kathleen had gone home for and it sounded exactly like her old bear.  
      
At the doorway Callie stops.  Erica is sobbing at the bedside of Kathleen.  She has been fairly stoic for three days, but now that façade has crashed down in a fantastic firework display of sadness.  Callie starts into the room, but hesitates, “Eri—Dr. Hahn?”  
  
Her blue eyes lock onto Callie’s brown ones and Callie’s fill with tears.  Never has she seen Erica so broken.  She saw her with tears of joy, and she saw her hurting and angry and confused.  But she never saw this level of hurt and it breaks her own heart to see it.  Erica loses it completely.  
  
“I can’t lose her.  I can’t lose her.”  Erica hyperventilates and repeats herself.  “I’ve lost everyone else.  I lost you, my sister and her husband all in the last year.  I can’t lose her.”  She’s pulling her hair and slobbering and hitting her thighs.  Callie is rooted to the spot.  Erica hasn’t really talked to her this whole time.  She hasn’t acknowledged any of their former friendship, or relationship, other than to say thank you that she was the attending on the case.  
  
“They were in the hospital three days too and they died!  They left her alone and if she dies she’ll leave me alone.  I can’t bear it.  I can’t.”  Erica Hahn is truly hysterical and Callie is scared but jumps into action.  If a patient was acting like this she’d take action.  If a friend was going through this she’d take action.  So, Callie Torres closes the ocean wide gap between them and she yanks her up into a heavy hug.  It almost takes her breath away when Erica’s arms lock shut around her and she sobs into her shoulder.  
  
Mark pokes his head in as he is passing by.  He questions Callie with his eyes and she just motions for some medicine.  He watches for a moment assessing and then goes.  Silently he hands Callie the medicine and puts a water bottle on the tray.  There’s a pitcher of water in the room, but the water bottle makes it easier.  Callie holds Erica and begins to `shh’ her and draw slow circles on her back.  When she calms down a little Callie holds her at arm’s length.  “I want you to take this.  I promise it won’t knock you out.  And I’ll promise to stay with you if you want.  Kathleen is going to be ok, Erica.”  
  
***  
  
“What happened to her parents?”  Callie is gentle, but it’s been a long time sitting there and she feels like it’s about time to start talking.  After a year of absence, three days of close proximity, obvious suffering—yeah there needs to be some talking and soon.  Plus, Kathleen is going to recover and Callie needs to have some connection with Erica before she leaves this hospital.  She figures starting with Kathleen’s parents is neutral enough and it’s about her patient.  
  
“Enrique was a private pilot.  He owned his own charter service and flew hotshots and celebrities and who ever would pay the price.  He was a great pilot.  I’d flown with him several times and admired his skills in the cockpit.  Enrique was Kathleen’s father, my brother-in-law.”  
  
“I didn’t know you had a sister.  What was her name?  Was she like you?”  
  
The tears start fresh and Callie struggles with feeling incapable of helping Erica.  She scoots the chair closer and holds her hand in her own.  She is glad when Erica doesn’t pull away.  “My sister’s name was Hannah and she was all the things that I wasn’t.  She was great with people, made friends easily; she was easy-going and open; she loved easily and was generous.  She was a social worker that somehow hadn’t been jaded by the system or the people that demanded more of her every day.”  
  
“What happened to them?”  
  
“They were flying last year the beginning of November and their plane went down in a sudden storm over the mountains in California.  They were taken to the local hospital and I was called.  Kathleen had no other family and she was staying at a friend’s house when I came to get her.  She came with me to the hospital, but when I realized how bad they were I made her stay at her friend’s house again.  On the third day I brought her in to see them because I knew that they weren’t getting any better.”  
  
Erica erupts into fresh sobs as she re-lives the moments in her mind and the sobs choke her from any communication.  Callie pushes her chair out of the way and simply kneels between Erica’s legs holding her.  She’s a little short for the job, but what else was she to do?  “I’ve got you.  I’m so sorry.”  Callie just mumbles and repeats not knowing what to say but trying to show that she’s there for her and wishes that this sadness had not engulfed her.  
  
After a few minutes Erica pulls away and focuses on breathing.  Callie offers her some tissue and the water bottle.  “Kathleen was there when first her mother and then her father finally succumbed to their injuries.  I was there with her, but we hardly knew each other and it was so tragic.  
  
“I couldn’t bring Kathleen back here. Her whole life was in California.  She was a 6th grader and had the whole second half of the year to finish and the support of her friends and their families.   I sent a letter asking Richard to consider this a leave of absence, but I didn’t explain.  
  
“Kathleen and I went to a lot of therapy and I became the room mom at her school so that I had some ways to connect with her and something to do with my time since I wasn’t working.  As the school year ended Kathleen and I decided that it was time to move.  Kathleen said that the memories of her old house and school and everything were nice to have, but also just reminded her of her parents.  She said it was overwhelming and she couldn’t control it.  She wanted to be able to visit the memory of her parents through a trip to the cemetery or photos and not because she was in the same house or at the same park on a daily basis.  
  
“This summer was a horrible mixture of goodbyes and hellos as we packed up the house, sold it, and moved here.  The neighborhood, well, you remember, it’s nice, but I had never realized there were so many families.  The school allowed Kathleen to attend their summer academy program even though she was academically prepared for the year.  They understood that she had a lot of adjusting to do with a new town, new school, the change from elementary to junior high school, and the loss of her parents.  She made some friends including Mrs. Bratten’s granddaughter, Kasey.”  
  
“I’m so sorry that you lost your family like that.  That’s so horrible and overwhelming.  It explains a lot about how special Kathleen is though.  When she came in I was drawn to her and I couldn’t explain it.”  
  
“You mean beyond her being your mini-twin?”  Erica gives me a piercing look through her sadness.  
  
“Yes, beyond her resemblance to me and her last name being Torres.  There was still something special about her.”  
  
“She is such a special girl.”  She is crying again, but it’s calmer this time.  “I.  I hope you get to meet her.  You’d really like her.”  
  
“You know what really freaked me out?”  
  
“What?  You mean mini-twin wasn’t enough for you?”  
  
“Your sister named her after your mother, didn’t she?  I was freaked out by her looking like me, but then the last name and her first name—being your mother’s name and my last name?  Then to have you walk-in in red scrubs like the first time I ever saw you?  That was freaky.”  
  
“Yeah.  Well.  I suppose that was only freaky until the freaky level went up and you realized she was mine and not my patient.”  
  
“Yeah.  That did take the cake on freaky.”  
  
***  
  
“How’s it going in here, Callie?  Dr. Hahn?” Mark asks quietly from the door.  He wants to make sure his friend is all right and he knew that Erica was a mess earlier.  He knows that Erica probably doesn’t like him, but she’s hurting and she’s important to Callie.  “Need anything else?  More water?”  
  
“Aww.  Mark, that’s sweet thank you.  We’re okay.”  Callie smiles at him and he leaves.  Erica says nothing but does not look pleased.  
  
“Did.  Did you want more water?  I can tell him to come back?”  Callie asks quickly concerned that she dismissed him if she needed anything.  
  
“No. It’s just.  Nothing.  It’s been a long time.”  
  
“Oh, Erica it’s not like that.  I’m not with him.”  
  
“You don’t have to answer to me.”  
  
“I know.  I just.  I’m not with him, Erica. I need you to know that.”  
  
Erica is just about to respond when Lexie comes giggling into the room.  She stops short when she gets to the doorway.  “Uh.  Callie.”  Her voice is still full of her former joy, but her face has dropped into a serious expression.  She hands Callie two water bottles.  “Here you go, Callie.”  She nods her head at Erica, “Dr. Hahn.”  
  
Callie rolls her eyes and smiles.  “Tell Mark thanks.  And thank you too, Lexie.”  
  
“I’m on-call tonight so if you need anything you call me.”  
  
***  
  
“So.”  Callie starts and then stops, looking at Erica.  She seems calm, but there is still the weight of the world behind her blue eyes.  “Are you back at Mercy West?”  She tentatively reaches out and touches Erica’s thigh indicating her scrub pants.  
  
“No.  I ran into some colleagues not long after coming back and they said that Northwest’s chief was retiring soon and I should look into it.  I talked to Richard who said he would support my application and that he would take care of my paperwork here at Seattle Grace.  I’ve just been getting settled in since the middle of July.”  
  
“You talked with Richard?”  
  
“Yeah over the summer.”  Erica notices a full storm of emotions cross Callie’s face quickly ending mostly with confusion.  “What did he say when I left?  Did he tell you anything?  Or anyone, I mean.”  
  
“No.  It was the strangest thing.  He brought in some other cardiothoracic surgeons one after another and said that he was expanding the research program, but he never really said anything about you.  I figured that you had quit after the Izzie/Denny scandal and our fight.  You never answered my calls and you were gone when I stopped by.  But nothing was ever said.  Cristina said that your name was off the board that morning and she kept asking me about you, but I didn’t have any answers.”  Callie bites her lip and looks away as the tears begin to form in her eyes. Callie had stayed sitting close to Erica the entire time basking in their closeness and neither felt awkward or odd about it, until Callie broke the spell and moved to the window of the room.  
  
“Oh.  Callie.  I’m so sorry.  I thought he would at least have said that I had taken a leave of absence.”  Erica has joined Callie at the window.  
  
“He didn’t though.  And you were just gone.”  Erica puts her arm around Callie’s shoulders and Callie quickly turns into her and cries on her shoulder.  Erica encircles her arms all the way around Callie and she sighs reveling at their closeness after so much time.  
  
“I never meant to leave you, Callie.  I never meant to leave you.”  
  
***  
  
“Listen, I know you need to make your calls and what not, but Kathleen is stable so what if you took some time to eat today?  Ms. Bratten will be here and an intern or a resident can stand watch.”  Callie is ready to plead with Erica.  They have just started talking again, but it is far from okay.  Callie wants to have lunch in their old spot, to try to give Erica a reason to allow for a more personal connection.  
  
“Well, I don’t know.”  
  
“Don’t you want to see what you’re not missing?  Please.”  At first Erica was going to refuse but seeing the simple desire of Callie wanting to spend time with her worked its magic like it always used to.  Besides it would be good to get out of the hospital and into some fresh air.  
  
“What I’m not missing?  Can you please make it more appetizing?”  Erica’s tone and words were gruff, but her dripping sarcasm and easy eye contact gave away her willingness to go with Callie.  It was all she needed, and Callie practically pounced on her looping her arm in Erica’s and dragging her away.  
  
“Claire!  You have guard duty until we get back.  Anything changes, even slightly and you page me immediately.”  
  
“Yes, ma’am.”  Claire is the same year as Lexie, but she hasn’t dropped onto everyone’s radar just yet.  She’s not the half-sister of Meredith or hungry for cardio like Cristina or any other weirdness, but she has been stable and effective when working with Callie.  
  
Sitting in the café area it is like old times, but Callie thinks it is so much better because it is in the present and she can have a new memory to hold onto for a while longer.  The old memories had started to fade and they were just so painful.  This new memory at least held the promise of something.  Erica was not just a void—there was information to learn and journeys to hear about.  Even if it couldn’t be what they had before, at least Callie hoped they could be part of each other’s lives somehow.  
  
“Ughh.  I don’t want to sit with him.  I’ll just go back upstairs.”  
  
Callie’s hand shoots out quickly to Erica’s and holds her in place.  She earns the patented death glare from Erica, but she just smiles.  “Will you stop hating?  He’s not coming over here.  Trust me.  You want to see this.”  Erica looks disgusted but she picks up her sandwich and takes another bite.  
  
Mark carries two trays over to a far table.  He sets everything out and puts the trays away. He adjusts the sun umbrella so that at least half the table is in shade.  He goes and gets two beverages and places them.  Then he proceeds to dress and mix a salad and scoop it out onto two plates, followed by half a sandwich on each plate.  Next, he looks around the café area and seeing Callie and Erica he waves his hand hello.  
  
“What the hell is he doing?”  Erica asks harshly, shaking her head.  “Is this his new `catch a nurse style’?  Does it work?  He looks so goofy.”  
  
“Yeah.  He’s goofy all right.”  
  
At that moment Mark’s eye catches the object of his affection and he smiles a truly magnificent smile and begins walking toward the entrance of the café area.  “Has he totally lost it?  He’s leaving the table now?”  
  
“Lost it.  Yes.  That about sums it up.  Just wait for it.”  
  
Mark opens the door to the café area and Lexie Grey passes in front of him smiling shyly.  It still takes her a little off guard that Mark will do so many little things for her.  Callie is all smiles as she turns to Erica.  This is what she had brought her down to lunch for, well part of the reason.  Erica’s eyes are wide as saucers and the color is that light inquisitive blue that Callie remembers.  Her mouth is hanging open slightly and her drink is halfway to her mouth hanging there, the straw totally abandoned.  
  
Callie leans toward Erica and asks conspiratorially, “Want to mess with him?”  When she gets no response, she adjusts her seat and yells to Mark, “Hey, Don Juan, you forgot the forks—again!”  
  
Mark looks over, shakes his head with a smile, and looks down at his shoes.  He should have known that Callie would have said something to him.  He did know in fact, but despite his friend’s relentless teasing he still forgot the forks.  Lexie playfully swats his arm and they turn toward Callie and Erica’s table.  Callie is holding up two forks as Mark follows Lexie over with his hand on her back.  
  
“I thought I told you not to help.”  Mark scolds.  
  
“But it’s your special day and all.  I couldn’t resist.”  Callie is completely full of playful torture as she smirks and wiggles in her seat.  She just knows she’s making him squirm right now and she is loving it.  
  
“Callie.  Especially today.”  His tone is one of warning and potential anger.  
  
Wiggling in her seat, Callie’s grin gets bigger and she sticks her tongue at him holding up the forks.  “Awww.  Have a great lunch you two.”  She calls out after he snatches the forks away and turns with Lexie to finally go sit down.  
  
A few moments of silence go by with Callie watching Mark and Lexie.  She always smiles when she sees them because it is such an odd match that just really works so well.  Mark has transformed from Seattle Grace’s man-whore to the protective dedicated boyfriend and it is just so endearing to see him happy and making someone else happy.  For a long time, it has been Callie’s only window on true happiness.  
  
Erica, instead of studying Mark and Lexie, studies Callie.  She notices the wistful way that Callie watches them, almost studying their happiness.  It is not a look of jealousy or longing, but one of respect and hope.  Erica can’t help but wonder if Callie respects them because they are happy and watches them with hope because of what they represent.  Erica feels a small glimmer of hope herself thinking that maybe Callie studies them like that because she too is still longing to find something like that—something like what they could have had together.  
  
Erica is caught in her musings as she studies Callie.  “What?”  Callie says shyly but looking Erica in the eyes.  She holds her breath waiting for the response.  
  
“When did that happen?”  
  
“A year ago.  Today as a matter of fact.”  Callie looks back at Mark and Lexie, then sighs.  “They began where we left off.”  
  
Erica is about to respond when Callie’s pager goes off.  “It’s Kathleen.”  She says grabbing Erica’s hand and pulling her up.  In the elevator, Erica is breathing heavy and Callie holds her hand to comfort her.  “I’m sure that it’s a good page this time.  Claire didn’t put 911 or anything.  She would have put something else on there.  It’s time that she regained consciousness, you know.”  Erica nods, squeezes Callie’s hand tighter, but looks ahead at the elevator door.  
  
Claire greets them in the hallway and she is nearly jumping up and down.  “She’s awake, Dr. Torres!  She’s talking to Mrs. Bratten and she’s awake!”  
  
Erica stops short and hugs Callie in a too tight embrace.  Then she puts her hands on either side of Callie’s face and kisses her quickly.  “Thank you, Callie.”  She breathes out and runs into the room.  
  
Claire is almost as stunned as Callie is standing there in the hall.  But from behind the nurse’s station she hears a familiar voice, “It’s about time you got your mojo back.”  Leave it to Cristina to chime in at that precise moment.  “You know I would have always picked you to make the first move.  I have to say I’m disappointed.”  
  
“Cristina.”  It’s a low growl of warning and Cristina hops up from the nurses’ station and bustles around it into the corridor.  
  
“So disappointed!  Now I owe Mark $50!”  She sing-songs as she walks away quickly.  
  
***  
  
Callie turns to go into Kathleen’s room, but she stands at the door peeking in.  She wants to give them some time together.  She wants to see Erica with her adopted daughter.  It’s weird Callie shakes her head remembering how odd the feelings were when the girl came in.  She had been so disturbed to think that this girl could have been her daughter, and now it is in fact the daughter of her former lover.  Who knows what kind of what ifs would have to happen, but if she and Erica had stayed together, then this would be their daughter now.  This would have been the daughter with Erica’s blood and name and Callie’s looks and name.  
  
Curiouser and curiouser as the line from Harry Potter goes.  What a strange think to think indeed.  Callie watches as Erica’s face brightens up each time Kathleen smiles.  She watches as Mrs. Bratten holds her hand on one side of the bed her back to Callie and the girl talks to her.  She smiles to see her bear next to the girl in the bed.  And she is mildly sad to see the love and concern on Erica’s face.  Callie thinks that it is amazing what she has gone through alone, what they have both gone through alone.    
  
Kathleen notices Callie at the door first and she points with her free hand as Erica smooths her hair and watches her every move.  Erica’s eyes follow Kathleen’s finger and she smiles when she sees Callie.  “Come in Dr. Torres.  You’ve got to meet your patient finally.”  
  
“Hello Kathleen.  I’m Dr. Torres, but you can call me Callie.  I feel like I already know you.”  Callie has come to stand at the foot of the bed where she can see the girl’s face.  Kathleen grabs the bear and holds it tightly to her chest.  Tears begin to fall and Erica hugs her to her not paying any attention to the wires.  
  
“What’s wrong, Kathleen?  What’s wrong?”  
  
A little sniffle, and she takes the tissue that Callie is holding out to her.  “She’s the one in my dreams.  She’s been taking care of me.  I thought maybe she was me in the future saying that I would be all right, or an aunt I never knew, or an angel.  But it was her, my doctor.”  
  
“What honey?”  
  
“She’s been in my dreams.  Taking care of me.”  
  
“What dreams?”  
  
“The ones I have after my nightmares.  The dreams that come to make it all better.”  Erica is crying now as well and rocking with Kathleen in her arms.  
  
“Oh, honey.  She is taking care of you.  Of both of us.  But how did you know about her before now?”  
  
“When you are upset, Tante, you always look at her picture.  You always feel better after a while.  She takes care of you. So, my brain borrowed her so she could take care of me.”  
  
There are no words to say to that.  They simply hold each other and let their tears of joy fall.  Callie and Ms. Bratten exchange glances that are accepting and questioning at the same time.  Ms. Bratten is accepting that there is a lot of happiness in the room and questioning how it’s all coming about and whether it makes any sense or not.  Callie is accepting that she somehow has been the caretaker for Erica and this little girl, and she questions how on Earth that has happened while she was simply trudging along suffering in her own lonely lost love hell.  She can’t argue with the happiness of Kathleen or Erica in this moment though.  
  
Eventually the spell is broken when Lexie comes in with the news that there is an in-coming trauma in the pit.  Everyone comes a little out of their bubble and thanks Callie for her help.  Callie orders Claire to come in and check everything on Kathleen and to stick around the nurse’s station just in case.  With a last glance at Erica, she nods her head and takes off down the hall with Lexie.

 

  
  
***


	2. Mastermind

**_ Moving Forward—Part 2  
_** 

_“She’s been in my dreams. Taking care of me.”  
“What dreams?”  
“The ones I have after my nightmares. The dreams that come to make it all better.”_

  
***  
  
Callie can’t make heads or tails of that. It has rattled around in her head all through the surgery, the rest of the day and some restless hours in the on-call room. It’s finally morning and Callie can’t stand checking the time and tossing and turning any longer. Mark should be on shift by now. She heads to the surgical board and does a lap on the surgical floor. No Mark yet. Callie corners Cristina and asks who was on-call last night. She doesn’t even let Cristina finish once she’s heard Lexie’s name. She just walks off to the only logical place where Mark would be. At the doorway Callie hesitates. She doesn’t want to interrupt anything, ewww, but she needs to talk to him. What Kathleen and Erica said about her taking care of them has really been stuck in her mind and she needs to process it out loud with her person: Mark.  
  
“Mark?” Callie says tentatively into the darkness. There’s a long silence and Callie is about to give up, even though she could swear she heard breathing.  
  
A timid whisper comes up from the sleepy figure on the bed. “He left a few minutes ago, Dr. Torres. OR 1.” Callie rolls her eyes at Lexie, thankful for the darkness shrouding them both.  
  
“Thanks, Grey.” Callie turns to walk down the hall. She stops at the nurse’s station to check out the notes on her patients.  
  
Breathless, Lexie is suddenly at Callie’s side. “Cochlear Implant, he should be out in less than 3 hours. Can I help you, Dr. Torres?”  
  
“There’s just so much in my head right now. You know?”  
  
“Well, Dr. Hahn is here, Kathleen Torres is a mini-version of you, and you haven’t talked to her, and they’re going to be leaving soon. That seems like a lot to me.”  
  
“No wonder they call you Lexipedia.”  
  
“I know that I ramble too much and I’m over personal. I’m here and Mark’s not yet...”  
  
“How am I supposed to talk to her? What do I say? It’s been a year.”  
  
“Yeah. I don’t know, but you’ve got to stop sending me in there. She’s on to you.”  
  
“That’s Dr. Hahn for you.”  
  
“How’s the girl? Claire said she woke up yesterday?” Lexie mumbles something about something else too and blushes looking down at the counter of the nurse’s station.  
  
“I’ll bet that’s not all she said.” Callie turns to scowl at Lexie.  
  
“She said that Dr. Hahn kissed you. She was a little shocked. You know she never knew about you really. She’s been on the outskirts of everything.”  
  
Callie takes in a deep breath and lets it out. “Whoo. That’s just great. Dr. Hahn kissed me like George kissed me—in the hospital under crazy circumstances. What the hell?”  
  
“Oh. What?”  
  
“When George’s dad was here for heart surgery, we were broken up. I hung around and talked with the family and tried to be there for him. He was hesitant at first, but then I was there for some of the good news and he kissed me and then we were dating again.”  
  
“That’s good, then. Maybe Dr. Hahn wants--”  
  
“Maybe she doesn’t know what she wants just like George didn’t know what he wanted after his father died, and then he asked me to marry him and it was absolutely insane. I can’t do that again. I can’t have Erica kissing me because of medical trauma.”  
  
“But his father died and he was a little crazy. Dr. Hahn is not a little crazy, not like that, and her daughter woke up and will be okay.”  
  
“It’s too crazy. All of it. Too crazy.”  
  
“What else, Dr. Torres? The whole situation is crazy. It’s here, we can see it. Kathleen looks like you, and is for all intents and purposes Dr. Hahn’s daughter. So what else is crazy?”  
  
“I never thought I’d see her again. I didn’t think she cared about me anymore. I tried to not care about anything. I tried so hard to not care about her.” Lexie's eyes question her. "She hasn’t forgotten. She looks at my picture when she’s upset to make things better.”  
  
“I thought you hadn’t talked to her.”  
  
“Just bits. But Kathleen woke up yesterday but then she was crying. She said I had been in her dreams for months taking care of her, because she knew that I was taking care of Erica.”  
  
“Wow.”  
  
“I know, right?”  
  
“I guess all that hard work you put in of not caring was for nothing, huh? Kathleen smashed that in an instant. You’ve been their guardian angel and all, all this time.”  
  
“I. Gotta.” Callie turns and runs down the hall to the bathroom.  
  
Lexie waits a polite amount of time and then goes to the bathroom as well. She timidly opens the door. In the last year she has gained a lot of confidence, but in this type of social situation she’s not always sure how far to go, since she’s gotten in trouble so many times. “Dr. Torres?” A few heartbeats go by. “Callie?”  
  
“Here.” Callie sticks her foot out and Lexie can see that she’s sitting on the floor. Lexie wrinkles her nose because that's yucky.  
  
“Dr. Torres. I’m so sorry.”  
  
“It’s Callie, Lexie. I just opened up to you. So, it’s, Callie.”  
  
“I left a message for Mark, so that when he’s done with surgery, he’ll come find you.”  
  
“Thanks, Lexie. Give me a hand.” Lexie helps Callie up without banging into the open door too much.  
  
“It’s a lot. Dr. Uh. Callie. It’s a lot to process. When Meredith took me through my mother’s file I couldn’t handle it. I mean my half-sister who hates me treated my mother who died and my father hates her and then she’s making me do an intubation on a dead guy and then she’s outlining my mother’s death for me. I couldn’t deal with it.” There’s a long pause as Lexie runs her speech into the ground and Callie tries to process everything still.  
  
“You said I was their freakin `Guardian Angel’, Lexie.” Callie’s tone drops harshly as she says her name and narrows her eyes at her. Lexie looks anywhere but back at Callie. She knows that Callie’s got a lot going on and there’s no one else here, but she really wishes that the ground would open up and suck her into the molten core, so she didn’t have to suffer the wrath of Cage Fighter Callie. She momentarily contemplates paging Izzie Stevens so that Callie can kill two birds with one stone. Lexie can hear the announcer in her head, `Cage Figher Callie vs. Izzie McHomewrecker Stevens. Tonight only.’  
  
Lexie starts off in a whisper. “But you were their guardian angel before you even knew that, so don’t take it as additional pressure.”  
  
“She cares.” Callie runs her hands across her face and through her hair growling. “Erica cares.” Callie’s voice is torn between anger and whining.  
  
“You knew she always did. That’s why this has been so hard for you.”  
  
“I hate Mark. He doesn’t keep anything a secret.”  
  
“In all fairness, he had to explain you to me a little, for a while there. Uh. At the beginning. Dr. Torres.” Lexie is stuttering more than usual and backing toward the exit of the bathroom. Several heartbeats go by as Callie finally hears what Lexie said and then processes it. A vein on her temple flares and she looks at Lexie.  
  
“Oh. Lexie. I didn’t even think about you. I’m sorry. I guess that’s what it would have looked like to everyone. Especially since no one knew about Erica and I.” Callie’s hands go through her hair again in frustration. Lexie stops trying to escape as it appears her life is not in danger for the moment.  
  
“Ok. Grey. Stop looking so scared.” Callie fixes her eyes on Lexie, who stops like a deer caught in headlights. Then in a softer tone dripping with sarcasm and a little dash of desperation she asks, “What now, oh fountain of information?”  
  
They both laugh. Giggles that fade into breathing that start new giggles that kick in the other’s giggles and then die out again only to be renewed. It is that unique brand of giggling reserved for stressful moments that flashed from love to heartache, to messy relationships, to sarcasm, to desperation and fear all in a few moments.  
  
“Time.” Lexie starts uncertainly and steps forward a little. “You have to give it time. You didn’t get time the first go around. I had to give Mark time. I had to slow down with him and sort it out and see what was what for myself. To know he wasn’t with you or with anyone else and let him prove to me he was serious and prove to myself that I was interested.” Lexie pauses digesting her own words of realization. “You have to do that with Erica if she’s really going to be back in your life. Don’t pressure yourself, the only time constraint right now is getting the chance of further contact started before they leave the hospital. You are her doctor though so prescribe some follow up appointments or rehab for her leg, you know. Then the rest can work itself out. She cares, you care, so you just have to find a way to give yourselves the time to figure it out.”  
  
“Thanks. Lexie. You really are a fountain of information, aren’t you?”  
  
“You’re welcome. Callie. Please just don’t make me recite the periodic table.”  
  
“You can do that?”  
  
“Yeah. Mark made me do it for him a few times.”  
  
“Eewww. Don’t tell me about that.”  
  
***  
  
“Dr. Hahn? You, uh, had me paged?”  
  
“Callie. Make up your mind. Is it Dr. Hahn or is it Erica?”  
  
The question hangs there. Simple enough but hanging heavy with so much under its meaning. Callie just stares at Erica wondering if she meant to ask the same question that Callie heard, wondering what answer Erica wants. A parade of emotion on the scale of San Francisco’s Pride Parade washes across Callie’s face. Erica is looking at Callie waiting for a response her face a blank of emotion, until her heart catches up to her words and she blushes slightly, wondering if Callie heard a more personal question than she intended.  
  
“Look. I’ve never done this before. I. I’ve never…” Callie stops, staring into Erica’s eyes. Their lives from a year ago thick in their minds, the tension from then stretching out to the tension now. “I’ve never loved someone like you and lost them and found them. I don’t know if I like it. I don’t actually. Like this.” Callie knows she is stammering and pushing through her ideas like a little bull in a china shop, but she’s got to do this or she’ll blow, so she motions between her and Erica. “I don’t like this. It’s stressful and heartbreaking. I just like you.” There’s a long pause. Callie had been taking a step toward Erica, but she brings her foot back so that she is standing feet together and holding herself up tall. Erica’s eyes never flinch from Callie’s but they glass over with the hint of tears behind them.   
  
In the silence, Callie decides to try another track. “I’m Kathleen’s Doctor. I was your friend. There’s been a lot of time gone by. I don’t want to assume anything so I try to hold back and be professional. But there are times when I just have to pretend that you are my friend.” The tears have won the war for crying and Callie blinks as a tear falls from each eye. “So, you tell me. Do you want to be Dr. Hahn or do you want to be Erica? Because I’m Callie.”  
  
Erica closes the distance between them in two steps her hands on either side of Callie’s face. “Erica.” She breathes out. “I want to be Erica.” Her lips brush Callie’s and then her tongue slides along her bottom lip, Callie’s mouth opens and they share a sweet, sweet kiss that begins to build. Callie pushes Erica away and leans her forehead against Erica’s.  
  
“Erica. We have to start over. We need rules and, and, and…”  
  
“An embassy and a safe word?” Erica is smiling into Callie’s eyes searching. Callie smiles back and her eyes only show love for Erica. It’s enough and Erica nods her head. “Ok. Callie. We’ll start over.” She hugs Callie to her tightly.  
  
“Erica?” They pull apart. “What did you page me for?”  
  
Shyly Erica pulls out of Callie’s grasp and looks at the sleeping figure of Kathleen. “She is sad, Callie, so sad. She’s trying so hard, but I can tell, you know. We’ve spent a lot of time on the wrong side of happy together this year. Can you talk to her? She seems to really like you? I know it’s a lot to ask, but I know you can talk to anyone.”  
  
“Oh. Erica, of course. I’m sorry that I got pulled away yesterday when she woke up.”  
  
***  
  
“Dr. Grey. How are you? I see you’ve made it through the internship.” Erica is friendly enough with Lexie, but Lexie remembers the old Dr. Hahn so she’s still gun shy.  
  
“Uh. Yeah. I made it. Thanks. I, uh, I didn’t know you noticed me when you were here.” Lexie looks away shyly.  
  
“Oh. I’m sorry, Grey. I noticed a lot of things then that I would never have commented on. I always thought you had a spark even if you suffered my wrath through Yang.”  
  
“Lexie?”  
  
“In here.”  
  
“You ready for lunch. Oh, hello, Dr. Hahn.”  
  
“Sloan.” Erica nods tilting her head. “Lunch date?”  
  
Lexie flushes and Mark lowers his gaze to the floor and then back up to Erica. “You look good together. Go on so I can spend time with my daughter.” Erica gives them a dismissal nod, which works like it always does even though her authority here is gone. There’s just a certain presence that people have like Dr. Erica Hahn and regardless of position, they can influence a situation.  
  
“Tante?” Kathleen has woken up and she’s impatient to know what’s going on.  
  
“Yes, my sweet.”  
  
“Do we go home today?” Erica’s face drops because she can tell that Kathleen wants to go home, but she has to tell her no. Erica and Kathleen have been through so much together that they would give anything to help the other one, but in this case, Erica has to make her stay here to get better all the way instead of just partially.  
  
“Tomorrow. You are healing, but Dr. Torres is being careful. She wants you under observation for a while longer.”  
  
Kathleen waits a moment to respond. She bites her bottom lip and then sighs in exasperation. “Don’t call her, Dr. Torres. You should know better than that.”  
  
Erica isn’t quite sure what to make of that. They have been through a lot together and Kathleen must have figured out that Callie was important to her. She weaved her into some kind of dream angel to help herself out, but they’ve never really talked about what kind of involvement they had. “Well. She is your doctor and so she is Doctor Torres to you.”  
  
“Tante, are you always like this?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You’re being obtuse. Be friendly to her, she’s important to you.”  
  
“To you she’s Doctor Torres and to me she’s Callie. Can we leave it at that for now?”  
  
Kathleen crosses her arms across her chest careful of the tubes and wires. She scowls at Erica. “Fine, but don’t screw it up.”  
  
Callie comes in on the heels of that comment and she can’t help but wonder what they have been talking about. “Screw what up? Your leg will be fine with some rehabilitation and tender loving care.”  
  
***  
  
“I missed you. I wish I had called, but I couldn’t.”  
  
“I know. I wish I had called, but I couldn’t. I missed you so much. I got it after you left. That light bulb that went on over your head hung around for me after you left.”  
  
“So you didn’t get back with Mark? I saw he and Lexie together again today. He’s changed.” Erica is eyeing Callie with sadness. She had underestimated Callie. She figured that Callie would have just gone back with Sloan and swept those messy feelings they had for each other under the rug. Their interactions now have shown her that Callie still has those messy feelings and Sloan himself showed her that they weren’t together.  
  
“No Mark. He was my biggest support I have to say, when he wasn’t pining after Lexie. And then Cristina of course when she wasn’t having a love-hate with Owen.”  
  
“So was there anyone else? I just wonder. A lot of time has passed. I feel like I have to get to know you all over again.”  
  
“How could there be anyone else? No one sounded like you, smelled like you, felt like you.” Callie pauses willing the tears to stay hidden, but the memory of how hard it was to miss Erica tears at her like it was yesterday. Erica’s face flashes with concern and she puts a hand on Callie’s. “I won’t lie to you, though. I was on a mission to erase you from my mind. I did a lot of destructive things. I became three people when you left. I had to segment off what I was going through: Dr. Torres here at work was the cold professional pioneering new techniques in orthopedics; Something-to-Prove-Callie stalked bars, chose targets to try and erase you from my memory and from my body; and then Private-Callie who lived only in my room listening to your music, holding your shirt in my arms each night next to the empty side of the bed. No one was allowed in my room. No one ever saw Private-Callie or talked to Private-Callie. Cristina once asked about the rose in the wine bottle on your side of the bed, but I wouldn’t answer and she never set foot in my doorway again. That was the rose you left in my locker the day before you left when it was still so wonderful.” Callie swallows hard and tries to pull her hand away, but Erica holds her still rubbing her thumb on the back of Callie’s hand. Callie stands to turn to the window and Erica releases her grip.  
  
Without looking at Erica because she is afraid of the reaction and the next question she asks, “How about you, Erica? Did you move on—in California?”  
  
Erica clears her throat and looks to Kathleen a moment who is still sleeping soundly. Then she joins Callie at the window. In a low voice she begins, “Kathleen doesn’t know about all of this. I mean she’s guessed about you and I, I think. But she doesn’t know what I’m going to tell you.” Callie turns to catch Erica’s gaze and she nods.  
  
“After the funeral, Enrique’s best college friend stayed with Kathleen and I. Marisol Estrella Garcia. We each needed comfort and our mission was to make sure that Kathleen was properly taken care of. She could tell I was uncertain around my niece and she agreed to help out, so there was always someone to balance things.  
  
“I tried to pretend she was you. Marisol could tell that I was miles away from her in my mind and after a few weeks she ended it. She said that she really enjoyed her time with me, but that it wasn’t real for either of us. She said I was a borderland of shadows neither in California really, nor in Washington. I was a doctor now a stay at home mom. I was in love with one woman and spending time with another. I was a person on the outskirts of my own life she said existing in a state of change, uncertainty, and conflict. I was infused with two converging life paths that led off in different directions and yet I could not choose yet. She said both of those lives would end as I knew them and that I would have to forge a new path from the ashes of those that came before.” Erica pauses thinking of Marisol.  
  
“Wow. Was she a fortune teller or shaman or something?”  
  
Erica laughs a low sad laugh. “No. She was a marketing vice president for some company down in Los Angeles. She just had a lot on her mind about life paths and relationships. You’d like her actually. We both knew she was right and she just became a close friend and helped me with Kathleen’s schooling. She stopped staying with us after another couple of weeks and went back to work in her office instead of going back and forth every few days.”  
  
A long silence begins to stretch out as they count their heartbeats and try to keep their breathing regular. Thousands of questions raced through their brains on the heels of things they wished they said and take backs of what they wished they hadn’t said. Callie is the first to speak. “Erica? What happens after today when you take Kathleen home?”  
  
“I wish I knew, Callie.”  
  
“Do I have to prescribe weekly re-hab appointments here to have contact with you?”  
  
“No, Callie. We said we’d start over. I don’t know how. But I’m not going anywhere. And it looks like you’re staying here, so.  
  
“I. Uh. Thanks, Erica. I know you’re busy with Kathleen and taking all this time off from Northwest, but I’m going to hold you to your promise. I’m not going to be clingy, but I am going to hold you to your promise.”  
  
“Okay, Cal.” Erica says and places a featherlight kiss on Callie’s cheek.  
  
***  
  
“Callie?”  
  
“Yes. Yes. Uh. Erica?”  
  
“I’m sorry I haven’t called, Callie.”  
  
“Well, it’s about time. I was about ready to come to Northwestern with a heart attack.”  
  
“Ha. Well, I’m sure that Dr. Barnard would have been very confused and totally unable to help you.” Erica laughs thinking of her Head of Cardio encountering a Cardiac Callie.  
  
“Oh, you think that’s funny do you?” Callie challenges her.  
  
“No. Yes. Well I can just imagine the situation. Sorry. I’m a. Well, I’m a jerk. I’m sorry.”  
  
“No, you’re not a jerk, you just took too long to call.”  
  
“I know and that’s why I’m a jerk. I meant to call, I want to call, I just got busy and stupid. And now I’m calling because of Kathleen, so really, I’m a jerk.”  
  
“Oh, I get it. You’re too busy to call me, but now you’re going to use Kathleen as a reason?” Callie sounds stern, but she’s just so damn happy that Erica called.   
  
In the long pause Callie smiles and does a little wiggly happy move as she walks in a circle with her phone. Erica isn’t sure but she thinks that Callie is maybe giving her a hard time and is just glad that she finally called. Erica lets out a big sigh. “It’s so good to hear your voice again.”  
  
“Yeah, that’s the only reason you’re forgiven, you know.” Callie knows that her smile is coming through in her voice, but she doesn’t care she can hear Erica’s smile on the other end of the line. “So, what finally made you call then?”  
  
“I’m sorry, Callie. Just you know. Anyway. Uh. Kathleen won’t go to re-hab anymore and her teacher called to say that she’s withdrawn and she’s concerned. I, the hospital, and school…” Erica’s voice is shaky and Callie immediately cuts off her uncharacteristic rambling.  
  
“Erica. Breathe. What do you need me to do? Do you want to bring her here for re-hab? How can I help?”  
  
“Oh. Cal. I. I hate to ask you, but would you come here? That way she’s not expecting it and we can just do it like dinner and see how it goes. Would you do that? I’m so sorry to not call and then call like this.”  
  
“Relax, Erica. I’m frustrated that you didn’t call, but I knew where you were. You also missed almost a week at your hospital and you’re raising a tween. I can’t even imagine. What night works for you, I’ll come over after my shift. Same place, right?”  
  
***  
  
“These are pictures of you?” Kathleen is shocked to be looking at pictures that could be of her but were definitely from earlier than it could have been her.  
  
Callie nods and laughs. “Here’s the petting zoo. I brought it because of the one that you have here in the frame.” Callie gets up and holds her picture next to Kathleen’s in the frame.  
  
“Oh! Wow. We both have overalls, no front teeth and pig tails!”  
  
“I know and look at the gleam in your eye and then look at mine.”  
  
“I only thought I looked like you, now I know why they called me ‘mini-me’.”  
  
Callie and Kathleen enjoy easy laughter and compare the other pictures one by one to the others in the frame. Erica quietly comes to the door, but she doesn’t disturb them. She had intended to offer them something to drink, but all she can do now is look at her two favorite ladies. Callie looks over then and her breath catches as she sees Erica looking at her. Callie bites her lip as she takes in the crazy look of longing on Erica’s face. They haven’t really been able to talk much since Kathleen is the main focus of her visits, but a friendly fog has settled in around them that promises more to come. Erica looks away and then clears her throat asking if they need anything. Kathleen looks up at her aunt and seeing a faint blush on her face, she turns to Callie with a wide smile and elbows her arm.  
  
***  
  
“Come in, Callie. I’m in the kitchen.”  
  
Callie crosses the living room and enters the kitchen to find a calm but flour covered Erica pulling cupcakes out of the oven. Callie sits at the table to the side of the room so that she can watch whatever fit of madness this is from a safe distance. She looks around and sees a cake already on the counter and a crock pot that must contain tonight’s dinner.  
  
“Kathleen’s on the phone in her room. It seems like she’s getting back into the groove she had started before the accident.”  
  
“What.” Callie stops and motions around the room when Erica looks at her. “What are you doing, Erica?”  
  
“Well, these are cupcakes for Lizette in Kathleen’s homeroom.” Callie looks dreadfully confused. “We bring in treats on the kids’ birthdays in the homeroom class. That way they all get to be celebrated, but it’s in a set place and time at school.”  
  
“But you made a cake already?”  
  
“Well, that’s chocolate for Lizette, but Jolene can’t have chocolate, so these are banana for her.”  
  
“Dr. Erica Hahn is making, no, baking cake AND cupcakes for kids in a homeroom for their birthday?” Callie is shocked. “Dr. Erica Hahn is worried about birthday parties and flavor preferences of strange children?”  
  
“Cal, I know it’s hard to believe, but a lot of things have changed and as you can see.” Erica motions to herself in an apron that is covered in cooking evidence. “I am not just Dr. Hahn anymore. I had to learn the hard way about taking care of people that I love and what it’s like to lose them.”  
  
“Oh, Erica.”  
  
“You know I had nothing to do down there. I was home alone and trying to connect to a child I had never really even talked to before. Not working is a crazy experience when you’re as driven as I am, you know? So, I took on my new job of caretaker with the same zeal that I took on surgery. I needed a challenge to distract me and I got one. I became room mother in an effort to get to know Kathleen and connect with her.”  
  
“You were room mother?”  
  
“Yeah. And I kinda liked it. I was totally uncomfortable at first. I was awkward and afraid of them. They were 6th graders, and I knew that I make grown men cry, so I was afraid of them and what harm I might do. They were naturally curious though and wanted to learn. Anything I told them or brought them, or any time that I would listen to them they just wanted more. I couldn’t believe these kids wanted to be friendly to me, just because I would listen. It was amazing. I got to know them and I got to know Kathleen. I sure learned a lot just by being willing to spend time with them.”  
  
“You were so kindergarten cop!” Callie covers her mouth and laughs heartily. Erica joins her and they laugh easily together.  
  
***  
  
The night of Kathleen’s final re-hab session Callie arrives early. She doesn’t want to miss a second of her time with Kathleen or the chance to talk to Erica. Nothing has really been said about their future, so it’s a little worrisome to Callie about how to bring up the next step. Kathleen is on the phone in her room while Erica gets Callie a drink in the kitchen when there’s a knock at the door. Erica goes to answer and Callie follows behind her. Kathleen comes down the hall and squeals with delight when she sees Claudia and her grandmother, Mrs. Bratten.  
  
Shocked, Erica lets them in and introduces Callie. “Tante, can I go with them tonight? Please? `Twilight’ is out and we can have an early girl’s night. Please.”  
  
“Uh. What about Callie and your appointment?”  
  
“Dr. Torres. Can I re-schedule? Pretty please.” Kathleen has her hands twirled together in front of her chest and she’s doing the pleading wiggle that Callie remembers from her own childhood. It is so hard to resist, and Callie realizes it means she can come back next week for sure.  
  
“Well, I have a really tight schedule, but I think we can move it to next week.”  
  
“Oh. Great. Come here I have something to show you.” Kathleen grabs onto Callie’s wrist like a hawk and drags her down the hall into the bedroom. In a whisper Kathleen starts talking to Callie. “You’ve been my angel and helped me out. I’m really glad and all that, but now I need you to be her angel again.” Callie is shocked, but Kathleen is staring her down very seriously. Callie nods. Kathleen stuffs some money in Callie’s hand and then she bounces off down the hall again calling out to Claudia.  
  
Still puzzling it out in her mind, Callie stands for a moment wondering what just happened. She has the distinct feeling that there is a scheme going on—she recognized that Torres twinkle and suddenness in Kathleen. She hears a shout of ‘Bye, Callie’ and the door closes signaling that she is alone in the house with Erica. Her hand goes to her mouth and a new Torres’ twinkle lights up her eyes.  
  
“So, uh, what was that all about?” Callie asks when she comes back to the living room where Erica is standing, staring at the door.  
  
“I’m not too sure. But I guess we’ve been thrown together for the evening.” Erica throws her hands up in confusion. It is not often that her schedule is thrown off kilter and in the last 10 minutes her entire night has been thrown out the window. It is only starting to dawn on her that this is for the better because she is finally alone with Callie. “Did Kathleen rig this? I thought Mrs. Bratten had the wrong day. She usually comes on Thursdays and you have been coming on Tuesdays.”  
  
Callie is holding back a giggle because she knows that they’ve been had by an 11-year-old. When the doorbell rings she laughs outright. Erica answers the door and when she does she just stands there looking at the delivery man. After a pause he says, “I got an order here for Callie Torres. Large pizza—half Brooklyn Bridge/half Margherita. A salad and a 6-pack of Thomas Kemper rootbeer.”  
  
“Callie?” Erica’s tone clearly indicates that she thinks that Callie set this up.  
  
“No. Uh.” Callie comes to the door and gives the man the money that Kathleen handed her. “Kathleen gave me money, but didn’t say anything. I swear.” Handing her the salad and the rootbeer, Callie takes the pizza and heads inside. “Your kid is incredibly smart.” Callie chuckles again and makes a note to tell Kathleen about the time… Oh, maybe she’ll just congratulate her on this great scheme.  
  
“You’re telling me. Where did the crafty come from?”  
  
“That’s a Torres thing.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“I mean she must have got that from her father’s side, if you’re not the sneaky side.”  
  
“Yeah. It’s a Torres thing.” Erica looks at her longingly then. Callie brushes her fingers along Erica’s cheek.  
  
They turn to go into the kitchen and Erica gasps.  
  
“What’s wrong? Oh my.” The table has been covered with a dark blue table cloth, the plates are set with folded napkins and the candle holders have been moved to the table and lit.  
  
In a beautifully breathy voice Erica asks, “When did she do this?”  
  
Callie is still taking a lot of satisfaction in seeing a plan well-executed and for her benefit so she’s quite jovial. “I’ll say your kid rigged this up that’s for sure. How did you miss this?”  
  
“I don’t know.” Erica is flabbergasted. She’s trying to recall the earlier conversations as she looks into the living room and down the hall and back to the kitchen. “I was talking to Ms. Bratten in the living room.” You can see her trace the actions of each person as she speaks. “Claudia went into the kitchen while we were talking and she got sodas for herself and Kathleen.” That’s when it dawns on her. “Oh, she set this part up for Kathleen.”   
  
“What was Ms. Bratten talking to you about?”  
  
“She was asking me about wine. She had two bottles and said she had to choose for a thing later this week. She had both bottles with her and then, wait a minute.” Her eyes lock onto Callie’s, and she turns back to the living room disappearing and then swearing. She comes back with a bottle of wine. “Ms. Bratten said they were going to have pizza and I chose this one.”  
  
“Oooh. Kathleen is a sly dog.” I say shaking my head in wonder. “She really is feeling better.” I can’t help but give Erica both a proud look and then a sympathetic one at that. Kathleen could potentially be all kinds of trouble.  
  
“My kid masterminded this?”  
  
“Oh, yeah, parent trap style.” Callie leans in and gives Erica a kiss on the cheek and beams her own mischievous Torres’ look at Erica. Erica looks down shyly and leans in to kiss Callie on the cheek in return.  
  
“Come on let’s go enjoy your girl’s master-plot.”  
  
***  
  
The girls covered the table with a new table-cloth, set the table complete with specially folded napkins and took themselves out for the evening. Callie can’t help but feel like Kathleen has become her mini-angel as well as her mini-me. Callie may have been in Kathleen’s dreams taking care of her, but now Kathleen is in Callie’s life giving she and Erica a not so gentle nudge. Erica is suddenly shy and Callie laughs that they have switched places from a year ago.  
  
Erica tells Callie to sit down so she can take a moment to organize the wine and glasses, and to put slices of pizza on the plates. She hands Callie a glass of wine and blushes like a 12-year-old when Callie flashes a sexy smile at her. She turns back to the counter glad to be momentarily hidden from Callie’s gaze. “So, I guess it’s finally just us…” Callie starts and Erica turns and their eyes lock. Fear and uncertainty clear on her face as Callie stands stepping to her. “Erica, have some wine.”  
  
A year has changed so many things. “Thanks.” Erica says quietly, sipping and then looking at Callie again. Her face now resolved to face this all head on, resolved to test the ice by stepping out onto it, knowing that Callie was out on the ice as well. “I think my heart rate’s returned to normal.” Callie smiles taking the wine glass from her and putting it on the table.  
  
“We can have rules. Take it slow. Maybe—”  
  
Erica crushes her lips to Callie’s making it very clear that they are doing this. Callie gasps in surprise and delight as Erica’s tongue slides along her lip and against hers—velvet to velvet. Callie’s hands instinctively go to Erica’s face and then hair. Erica places her hands on Callie’s hips to stabilize herself, the room, the world which has suddenly begun spinning wildly out of control. Erica’s stomach rumbles and they pull apart. Forehead to forehead they rest panting for air after having jumped into the icy cold pool and coming up again.  
  
Erica looks at Callie and a smug smirk appears, “Maybe second base too?”  
  
Callie tilts her head to the side, keeps her lips together in a sly grin as she gives Erica her best dare look. Erica is just about to go in for seconds now when her stomach growls in earnest. Callie bursts into a fit of giggles. And Erica throws her hands up in the air questioning the ceiling for the meaning of it all. She grabs the plates off the counter and offers to warm it up for Callie. One minute for each of them.  
  
One minute for Erica to stand against the counter looking at Callie. During which Callie steps to her, placing one foot between her legs and her breasts against Erica’s through their thin coverings of cotton. One minute for Erica to wrap her hands around Callie bringing her in for a kiss that will break down all the walls, communicate all the desires, and make all the promises of the future that need to be made. A minute which finds Erica’s hand snaking below Callie’s blouse in the back and finally feeling hot skin. One minute for each of them.  
  
Beep. Kissing. Beep. Callie has her hands under Erica’s shirt now. Beep. Erica can feel her heat against Callie’s leg. Beep. Growling stomach. Beep. Giggles. Beep.  
  
“Erica.”  
  
“Yes.” She groans out as Callie pulls away taking her lips, her skin, her hair, her chest, and her leg with her and away. Erica cannot remember ever looking at someone and wanting them as much as she wants Callie.  
  
Callie takes the plate out of the microwave and she takes it to the table. She doesn’t put her piece of pizza back on its plate, she leaves them together on the one. Then she pulls the chair from across the table out and puts it next to the one for Erica. Callie then grabs Erica’s hand and pulls her to sit next to her.  
  
“I don’t know if I can eat sitting this close to you.”  
  
Callie just sexes her up with her eyes as she takes a bite of pizza. Erica’s stomach growls again. Callie giggles, finishes chewing, and swallows. “You better eat. I don’t want you to pass out from mal-nutrition.” Callie scoots a little bit away and Erica picks up her pizza.  
  
“How did Kathleen know to order this?” Callie asks once Erica has taken a few bites.  
  
“This is what we order when we order pizza. So, I guess she just went with it. You know options and all. Two kinds of pizza, salad, rootbeer, wine.”  
  
“The whole package.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“This is what we used to order.”  
  
“That’s why I still order it.”  
  
Callie wipes her mouth off with her napkin and then leans over and kisses Erica’s cheek quickly before the blonde has time to react. “Awww. That’s sweet.”  
  
***  
  
“Okay. We have unfinished business.”  
  
“Yes. We do.” Callie says as she sits next to Erica, practically on her lap. Callie has a lot to say with her body language and isn’t so sure she wants to talk. Erica put her arms around her when she sat down and Callie is having a hard time staying still. She kisses Erica and just as it’s turning into something more, Erica pushes her away slightly.  
  
“I want to be Erica. Your Erica.” She begins. “I want you to be Callie. My Callie.” Callie rolls her eyes. “I know very cave man, but the idea is right.” Erica grabs Callie’s hand and interlaces their fingers and settles her other hand over them in her lap. “But in the hospital you said we needed to start over and we needed rules.”  
  
“That was before you ravaged my lips with a kiss in the kitchen rendering me senseless.”  
  
“It was, but we don’t get to do this again. We are lucky enough to have been brought together after an insane year, but I don’t think we get to do this again. I can’t mess this up, Callie. I can’t do this again.”  
  
“I can’t either. Mark was going to have me committed.”  
  
“What do we need to do, Cal. How can we avoid our mistakes and move forward for real? I know that may be a lot of pressure since we just started talking again, but it seems like this was a rough year for you as well.”  
  
“It was a rough year. It’s soon in one sense, but it’s not soon in another sense. We began over a year ago. We’ve just had a very long intermission.” Callie smiles at Erica and takes Erica’s hand into her lap now and she is brushing the skin on the back of Erica’s palm with her fingertips. “When you had to leave I wasn’t sure I was a lesbian and I wasn’t sure I could be who I needed to be with you. I was scared to let you in and hurt me. I ended up pushing you away and hurting you. But Erica, I’ve learned a lot. I am pretty much a lesbian and I’m not afraid to let you in and have a real relationship with you. It hurt so much to be without you, that I realized how stupid I was. I also realized that I was afraid because of what George had put me through, and I realized that you would never do that to me. I could be upset that you left, and I could be upset about what you said when you left. But what good would that do? Did you mean what you said to me, I don’t think so. And did you leave on purpose in that way? No. The only thing for me to be mad about is that you didn’t contact me at all during this whole past year. But I’m not so sure that I would have contacted me had I been thrown into your shoes last year either.” Callie takes a big sigh wondering where the hell all of that came from.  
  
Erica takes Callie’s hand and kisses it. She holds it there on her lips relishing the feel of Callie’s skin and the simple fact that after so much time she is real. Callie Torres is really sitting on her couch and talking about all things relationship. “You learned how to talk too.” Erica smirks at Callie and lowers their hands as she leans in to give Callie a kiss on the lips.  
  
Playfully Callie responds, “Well, I thought we were doing that whole `I speak girl’ thing.” Callie rolls her eyes at Erica and returns the kiss on her lips. “So.” She smirks at Erica, “Your turn.”  
  
Taking a big sigh Erica looks into Callie’s eyes. “Having you here now is more important than anything left over from then could be.” She smiles and gives Callie’s hand a squeeze. “Back then I was angry that you had slept with Mark. I was angry that you stood up for Izzie Stevens and the hospital. I was angry that you were so hesitant and silly. In the year that we’ve been apart that all washed away. I missed you and didn’t care who you had slept with. The possibility of finding you, far outweighed what was technically cheating or not cheating. Being with Marisol to get over you or to try to replace you, made me understand how someone could have another person in their life to figure things out, but not diminish the importance of that person. If anything, Marisol made you more important to me. I think she understood that too, because she was not upset with me for not really being able to relate to her.  
  
“I realized that I had attacked in anger and when I thought about it, I realized what was done had been done and as an outsider who wasn’t anywhere near Seattle Grace, I had no place in deciding what would happen or not. I think that you reacted in defense to my attack instead of specifically defending Stevens.  
  
“I realized that while I was sure about you and about being a lesbian, I couldn’t just expect that from you. I had been with men my whole life, but never felt connected to them in the end. I rarely dated anyone for more than a month and I did that so rarely that it was a surprise to me each time I did. With you I knew instantly that the connection I had to you was incredibly different. In time I realized that you had a right to whatever hesitance you felt. I also realized that you had more confusion because you had had more connections with men than I had.” Callie starts to react. “No. I just mean that you dated men and enjoyed them. You married one and actually wanted it to work. I had never had that and so I wasn’t giving that up. You had to think about it a little more and so my comments to you and my general distaste with you on the whole issue was unjustified.”  
  
“So we’ve started over then? Are we forgiven?” Callie asks me.  
  
“I think we forgave each other when you wanted to be Callie and I wanted to be Erica.”  
  
“Good.” Callie says as she turns to face Erica and crouches on her hands and knees facing her on the couch. “Now I can kiss you?”  
  
Erica reaches up with her hands on Callie’s face like she has to hold her there. Like if she doesn’t hold her face she will stop breathing or living. Like if she doesn’t hold her face, then Callie will disappear. This kiss eclipses any that came before it for either of them and it seals the forgiveness of the past and the promises of the future. When they run out of air, Erica stands pulling Callie with her. Hands immediately go under shirts and they are shed in a frenzied moment. Then breathlessly they stop looking at each other for a moment as they each undo their own bras and fling them to the side as well. The smiles that pass from one to the other show they have just made the best decisions of their lives. They each reach out to touch the other’s breast at the same time and gasp in unison at the contact. Erica takes Callie’s hand and she just barely looks over her shoulder to the bedroom and then back at Callie who nods.  
  
***  
  
Erica’s bedroom has changed very little in the year it has been empty. Callie is glad that it has been here waiting for them to come back to it together. If they each had to go away in order to finally find the other, then it is good Erica went to California. That other woman was never here and never will be. Callie’s room at the apartment is the same way, no one ever was allowed to come in. Callie trails behind Erica her long fingers holding on to Callie’s. It is the barest of contact, but the pull is not just of her fingertips, it is a pull toward togetherness and Callie feels it all over her body.  
  
Standing near the bed the two share a steamy embrace shedding what remains of their clothing. Erica motions for Callie to get on the bed and she takes her earrings to the box on the dresser. When Erica turns back she finds Callie still standing by the bedside with tears in her eyes. “What’s wrong, Cal?” Erica’s voice is full of tenderness and she slides her arms reassuringly around Callie’s naked body. Callie leans into the embrace and points to the picture on the bedside table. It’s not in a frame and it has been through some tough times, but that only shows how travel worn and beloved it is. It’s a picture that Callie took one day with Erica’s camera and they were laughing and silly. It was an ordinary day and they had gone for a short hike and then they were having an ordinary lunch. Callie insisted on taking a picture of them by holding the camera at arm’s length where you couldn’t even see what the camera was aimed at. At first Erica was not interested and thought they should at least get someone else to take the picture, but Callie was insistent. It was digital and they could take as many as they wanted and see how they came out instantly.  
  
“That was the day I first thought there was something different about how I cared for you. See I didn’t have an Addison pointing things out for me, but I had some little angel, or maybe devil that pointed out that something special was going on. I didn’t tell you, but I kept all of those pictures from that day.”  
  
“Oh, Erica. I wish I had known. I wish I had done it all differently.”  
  
“No. We are where we need to be now. We can’t change what got us here no matter how unpleasant it has been.”  
  
Erica begins to kiss Callie’s hair, neck and shoulders as her hands cup Callie’s breasts from behind. Callie moans and brings one hand up to hold Erica’s mouth to her neck. She turns slightly to kiss Erica who drops her hand down to Callie’s sex. Moaning into the kiss, Callie leans back against Erica their skin hot against each other. “I need to touch you.” Callie utters as she turns to climb onto the bed.  
  
Facing each other Callie looked down at their hardened nipples touching and she gasped as Erica’s hand ran along the tender skin of her rib cage. It had been so long since she had truly let someone touch her and the first time she had all the right emotions going with it. The tingle between her thighs caused Callie to reach her hand between Erica’s legs without any teasing or torture. That could come later she thought, in time they could play games, but right now Callie needed her.  
  
Erica gasped into Callie’s ear but her fingers followed Callie’s lead. Erica’s leg nudged Callie’s encouraging her to open her legs so that her fingers could feel all of her desire. Their fingers danced in a curious waltz from clit to core and back again. Neither leading—neither following, but building up speed and intensity the whole time. It was not rushed but it was steady and passionate. Erica gave in to the edge first, her hand stilling against Callie’s sex as she shuddered against her trying not to give her a love bite that would announce to the world how wonderful life really was. Erica lay back and Callie curled up to her. Her hand lazily teasing her spent partner and causing further shudders.  
  
As soon as she could breathe again, Erica seized her into a frenzied kiss that lit the fire anew for both of them. Erica nipped at Callie’s nipple causing her to arch her back and hiss, then she soothed it with the flat of her tongue slowly massaging away the sting. Sliding her body down Callie, Erica kept her eyes locked on her lover. Sliding her fingers into Callie’s desire, Erica shuddered at the thought of how turned on Callie was for her, her own arousal throbbing again between her legs. Callie closed her eyes and reached her arms up toward the headboard, her hands searching for shelter in the storm. Seeing Callie ready herself was enough for Erica to give her lover everything she could in one sweet moment.  
  
Callie’s sex was hot against Erica’s tongue, but nothing compared to the raging fire in her own. Erica lapped at Callie like her sex was the air she needed to survive. Her fingers pumped in and out of Callie faster and harder as she urged her with each thrust. When Erica felt Callie’s body tense around her she pulsed her tongue against Callie’s clit, slid her fingers in all the way and curled them up to ride out Callie’s release.  
  
Keeping her fingers on Callie’s sensitive bud, Erica slid her way back up Callie wrapping her leg around hers. Her fingers flicked against Callie’s clit several times and as her legs shook again in their mighty release there was enough friction and heat against Erica’s sex that she came with her. Still trembly from their mutual release, Callie turned and caught Erica in a kiss that rivaled the one that led them down this hall and furthered the promises of the future.

 

  
  
***


	3. Interrogation

**_Moving Forward—Part 3_**  
  
The elevator doors open to the surgical floor and the raven-haired Callie Torres is on a mission.  She does a lap on the surgical floor and then stands at the nurse’s station.  She bites her lip thinking.  Her person. She needs her person.  Checking the surgical board, she sees that Mark is not in surgery, but that Lexie was on-call last night.  Callie heads up two floors to a familiar on-call room.  As she rounds the corner she sees the back of Lexie.  Callie calls out across the distance in her hurry for information.  “Lexie?  Where’s Mark?”  
  
Lexie stops in her tracks and turns to look at Callie and then back and forth up and down the hallway.  Her relationship with Mark is hardly a secret, but she’s still shy about shouting down the length of the hallway that her lover is in the on-call room she just vacated.  She blushes a little as Callie stares her down.  “He’s.”  She points toward the on-call room door midway down the hall between them.  “Are you okay, Dr. Torres?”  
  
“Yeah, actually I am Lex.  Thanks.”  
  
Callie opens the door to the on-call room not even knocking in her excited rush to see him.  “Mark, Mark.  Wake up.  Come on.  Wake up.  I see leaves.  I see them so clearly, it’s amazing.  Mark, remember how Erica said she saw leaves and I freaked out.   She said I was glasses and the reason she could see leaves.  I didn’t know if I saw leaves or flowers or what.  And then you.  Uh, and I.  Well, I went to her about all of that freak out stuff and she was okay only she wasn’t and then she left?  After all of it came out about Izzie and Denny?  And then I went on a rampage with every blonde in King County until I couldn’t walk.  And I still didn’t see leaves, but couldn’t let a man touch me?  Well, now, I see leaves.”  Callie finally stops talking and sucks in a breath of air.  
  
“Ugh.  Callie?”  Mark shakes his head.  He hasn’t gotten all of his beauty rest and he’s a little caught off guard by the new Callie.  Or the old Callie that’s back?  Or some weird Possessed-By-Leaves-Callie that’s here to take him to her leader?  He scratches his chin and props himself up on his elbow glad he’s at least under the on-call room sheet for once.  Grimly, with jaw set, he says, “Yeah.  I wanted to have you committed after you went through half of my black book in a month and started in on the East Coast numbers.”  
  
Callie shakes her head, “I did not Mark.”  
  
“I know, but that sounded funny.”  He takes in her serious look.  “To me, it sounded funny, to me.  Only me.” He coughs choking on a laugh.  “Ok, so yeah, not funny.  All right.”  
  
Callie stands looking at him.  She needs to talk and he’s her person.  Mark gets a smug grin on his face and sits up still holding the sheet over his new leaf.  Callie joins him on the bed.  Callie looks at him questioningly, but he’s laughing now.  “What?”  She demands.  
  
“Do you realize which on-call room we’re in now?  Do you remember that day?  Really?”  He’s laughing in her face and holding his side.  “Hand me those boxers, will ya?”  
  
Callie hands them to him looking around the room.  Sometimes she’s not sure if his new leaf is just a strong outer shell and the old Mark, the dirty mistress Mark, is still inside there just waiting for an opportunity to jump out.  He slides the boxers on quickly as she thinks about the room and the freak-outs trying to remember.  Then he gets up and crosses the room to the rest of his clothes getting dressed quickly.  “You don’t remember do you?  This is the room you came to me that first morning after.”  
  
He pauses taking in Callie’s surprised face.  Then he laughs that impish `Little Prince’ laugh that he has.  As he puts on his lab coat he stands near the door doing an impression of himself over a year ago.  “Two girls getting nasty and loving it.  That’s hot.  One girl talking about how much it sucked:  depressing and wrong, just wrong.”  
  
“Oh, Mark!  That’s.  That’s awful.”  Callie stands and smacks him hard on the arm.  “I, I can’t believe that, that you said that.  Oh my god.  What did I say?”  Callie is genuinely horrified but knows that that conversation was a tough time.  Callie hits him one more time, but it is gentler and she’s smiling at him.  
  
When it becomes clear that he’s not under attack anymore and Callie sits back on the bed he says, “Well, I remember something about you ‘choking’ and it being ‘weird’ and ‘clinical’ like ‘gynie rotation’.”  He laughs watching her cautiously.  Either she’ll attack or there’s something totally different going on here today.  But he realizes this is definitely Callie—not Dr. Torres, or Something-to-Prove-Callie, or the tiny Private-Callie—this is the real Callie all put together for the first time in a long time.  He wonders if today is the first day, or if he’s missed some subtle changes in his friend lately.   
  
Callie’s eyes are wide as saucers.  Her skin has paled a shade or two and she is horrified.  She’d like to say that he made that up, but his new leaf thing has really held and he’s just not like that with her anyway.  “That’s.  That’s awful, Mark.”  
  
He nods his head in agreement shutting his blue eyes a moment.  “Depressing.” He repeats sitting down next to her on the bed.  “And wrong.  Just wrong.”  She slaps him again.  “Hey, freaking out—not pretty.  You were there, even if you’ve tried to prove that someone could live sleepless in Seattle.”  
  
“Oh.  Very funny, Mark.”  She groans leaning a shoulder into him.  “You’re going to be sad when I talk to Lexie instead of you.”  
  
“What and miss all ‘the two girls getting nasty and loving it’ parts?  You wouldn’t do that to me, Torres, not after all we’ve been through together?”  Mark is serious and doesn’t want to miss any hot stories either, especially if they made Callie happy—it’s been a long time since she really smiled and here she is horrified, but it hasn’t shaken the happy away.  
  
“Aww.  You care, Mark.”  Callie sing-songs at him sarcastically.  
  
“Oh, just spill it will ya.  I have to get my beauty sleep.”  
  
“Yeah.  Now that Lexie’s back on shift.”  Callie giggles.  
  
“Torres.  Talk or I’m getting coffee.”  
  
“Let’s go get coffee, Mark.  Instead of sitting in here.”  Callie fake shudders next to him motioning with her hands indicating the on-call room.  They get up to go laughing.  
  
***  
  
“So, what happened?”  
  
“Well, you know that I’ve been going to do Kathleen’s physical therapy at Erica’s house for a few weeks.”  
  
“How has that been going?  Have you been talking to Erica?  When Kathleen was here it seemed like you’d kinda started talking again.”  
  
“Well, she got really busy and didn’t call.  But then she did call because of Kathleen.  So, I’m glad.  But we never talked really because we weren’t left alone.”  
  
“Hard to re-kindle a romance with an 11-year-old chaperone?  You’ve lost your skills, Torres.  You used to be up for a challenge.”  
  
“I know, but there’s another Torres with tricks.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Kathleen set us up on a date.”  
  
“What?”  He asks in disbelief his eyes sparkling with the hint of trouble.  He’s like a bloodhound when it comes to trouble or women.  Some habits never will completely fade away even with the new leaf.  
  
“Kathleen set us up.”  He grunts as if to say, yeah.  “So, I get there for the appointment and then the neighbor lady and her granddaughter, Claudia, show up.  Do you remember the neighbor that was here in the hospital that week?”  
  
“Yeah. She was babysitting Kathleen when she got hit, right?”  
  
Callie nods.  “So, the girls ask if they can go see ‘Twilight’ and have a sleep over.  In shock Erica agreed and then we found ourselves alone for the first time since she left Seattle Grace.”  
  
Mark claps his hands together rubbing them in excitement.  His blue eyes shine in anticipation of a juicy story.  “On with the details, Torres.  Don’t hold out on me.”  
  
“No, it wasn’t like that.”  Mark’s face drops totally disappointed:  his jaw open, his blue eyes staring her down, his brows furrowed.    
  
“But you came in all crazy-like and saw leaves?”  
  
Callie thinks about her answer fully and then blushes a little looking at the table.  “Well, it wasn’t like that at first.”  She returns her gaze to his blue eyes and smiles shyly.  
  
Mark went from disappointed to exhilarated in two beats.  “Carry on, then.”  He says motioning dismissively to the hold up of information.  
  
“Before she left Kathleen pulled me aside asked me to be Erica’s angel again and gave me some money.  Then they left.  Erica and I took a moment to realize that we were alone.  It didn’t sink in because we had never been alone.  Then the doorbell rang and there was a pizza delivery.  Kathleen had given me just over the amount for the pizza order and I gave it to the man.  We went to go in the kitchen and the girls had set the table nicely.  It was amazing.”  
  
“The kid set this up?  Oh, why didn’t I have a kid to set up that kind of stuff?”  
  
“Mark!?”  Callie scolds him.  
  
“No, not now, but back then.  Would’ve been a very useful tool of the trade.”  He nods in a reminiscing manner, recalling things that his new leaf should have swept under the carpet a long time ago.  
  
“Here’s an even better part.”  Callie squeals and wiggles in her seat.  “Erica realizes that Mrs. Bratten was asking her about wine, so she goes back into the living room and finds the bottle of wine that she had chosen.”  


“Let me get this straight:  the kid set the two of you up in the house alone, delivered pizza, and arranged for wine to be left?  Oooh.  She’s good.  What’s her last name again?  Oh, yeah—Torres.”  
  
“I know—Torres’ Tricks. It’s all about the name.”  
  
***  
  
Dr. Thomas Varner has been at Northwest many years and he has seen the staff change and grow.  Mostly the changes have been made as members of staff have left and news ones arrived, but in the last several months he has had his eye on the new chief and in the short time he has seen her, she has changed dramatically.  It is no wonder that he watches her in particular, she interned at the hospital where he was first a resident some sixteen years ago.  Meeting again in July when she began at Northwest they have been able to strike up a surprising friendship as equals.  
  
“Erica, how are you today?”  
  
“I’m good, Tom.  Better than good, actually.  And yourself?”  
  
“I’m fine. I just hate the early chill on these cold days.”  
  
“Oh. Like when you first set foot on the cold hardwood floors.  I hate that.”  Erica smiles and for the first time since working at Northwest it goes all the way to her eyes.  Tom takes her in again the blue eyes shining clearer, her complete smile, her relaxed demeanor.  
  
He puts his hand on her forearm as they stand on the breezeway over the lobby.  It’s one thing at Northwest that reminds Erica of Seattle Grace, and she doesn’t mind it now.  She turns to him, “What Tom?”  
  
“I knew you a long time ago and had one impression of you.  When I met you again in July you were so different.  And not just that you were the chief now and a little older, but there was always something else.  I don’t know you all that well, but I’m happy if you’re happy.  Today for the first time—you seem happy.”  
  
Erica can’t believe that Tom has noticed the differences in her.  She’s been here less than a year, and when she knew him sixteen years ago it was only in passing.  Erica considered telling him the change that made the difference but remembered that the best part of Northwestern was that people were cordial, friendly even, but they didn’t know each other’s business in detail.  This was a crucial difference for her between the hospitals and she wanted to keep it that way.  “Thanks for noticing Tom, and for the first time I am happy.”  
  
“Have a good day, then, Erica.”  
  
“You too, Tom.  Don’t forget to take your breaks.  I see you have several back-to-back procedures today, so don’t forget to take care of yourself.  
  
“Okay, Chief.”  He says with a bright smile.  He walks away but looks back after a few steps to see her go.  She is walking at a leisurely pace and she’s looking out the large windows to the world beyond.  It’s like she’s seeing it for the first time he thinks and smiles.  Usually she’s on the phone, walking fast, having short conversations, always in motion and always business-like and impersonal.  Detached, that’s what he was thinking.  Not today, no, today she seemed part of the world, to be seeing it clearly and not permanently walling herself away in a shell created by mysterious events over time.  
  
***  
  
Callie had a late shift and after not coming home followed by being on-call she’s tired and thoughtful.  As she slips into the quiet apartment that she shares with Cristina, she toes off her shoes to walk in stocking feet to her room.  She doesn’t realize she wanted to sneak in without talking to Cristina until her voice scares the bejesus out of her.  And as she does she lets out the breath she had been holding in as well.  
  
“So how’d it go?”  
  
“Oh.  My God.  You scared me.”  Callie drops the shoes, turns in fear, and waves her hands in weird airborne patterns that give away her scattered mental state.  “What?”  
  
Cool as ever Cristina rolls her eyes and blows on her cup of hot chocolate saying, “You haven’t been home in two days.  I know you were on-call last night, but you weren’t the night before and I know that’s when you go to see Erica, I mean Kathleen, your patient.  Cough. Cough.  So how did it go?”  
  
***  
  
“Tante?”  
  
“Yes, Kathleen?”  
  
“I told Callie to be your angel again.  Did she tell you?”  
  
“Not in so many words.”  Erica is intrigued by her niece but doesn’t take the bait.  She’s really not sure about discussing her relationship with the child, although with the life Kathleen has had to lead and her wisdom she could hardly be considered naïve or clueless.  
  
“Tante?  Will you stop being so obtuse?”  
  
“Will you just ask me a question so I know what kind of discussion we’re having, Little One?”  
  
“Are you and Callie…  Friends again?  Yet?”  
  
“Yes, Kathleen, we are friends again.”  
  
“Did you have a good evening with her when I went to see ‘Twilight’?”  
  
“We had a great time and the dinner was excellent.  Callie was touched that you had ordered her favorite pizza.  Now it’s late so say good night.”  
  
“Good night, Tante.  I love you.”  Kathleen holds her arms up for a goodnight hug.  
  
“I love you too, Little One.”  Erica leans back making eye contact with Kathleen, then she rubs her nose to hers in an Eskimo kiss.  
  
***  
  
“Callie.  It’s for you.  You know it is, so just pick up already!”  Cristina is too lazy to get the phone, right as usual, and cranky.  Besides she only gets calls from Meredith and she only calls the cell phone.  Owen never calls her, he just sees her at work or shows up in all of his glory when he knows Callie’s on-call at the hospital.  
  
“Hello?”  Callie answers huffing air.  She was in the middle of actually putting her laundry away and she was on a roll, only to have to stop and hold the phone and pretend to hear— “Erica?”  Never mind, she’s thrilled to death that she picked up the phone and not Cristina and she’d happily walk back and forth around her bed and twirl a lock of hair in her fingertips and lay down smiling, and then pace to the window and then do it all again.  Of course, she would—it’s Erica.  
  
“Hi.  Callie.”  Callie bites her lip and smiles.  Erica’s cute when she’s shy.  It’s like they are completely new to each other and it’s a wonderful feeling of butterflies to experience all over again, and yet to know that the future very definitely has the cause of all the flutter dead in the center.  
  
“It’s stupid, but I miss you.”  
  
“Is it Tuesday yet?”  
  
“Not yet.”  
  
“I’m really glad we got to talk and be alone.”  
  
“I am too.  I just couldn’t see trying to talk to you at the hospital, but then it never seemed right the other times.”  
  
“There’s just always something.”  
  
“I thought it was going to be harder to be alone with you again like that.”  
  
“Me, too.  But it wasn’t.  It was just right.  No better.”  
  
“Yea.  Better.  Then I was mad a year had gone by and then more months and days too.”  


“Now we can truly appreciate who we are to each other.”  
  
“You know it doesn’t have to be Tuesday?”  
  
***  
  
Saturday is the new Tuesday and Callie picks Erica up from her house and heads over to the Washington Park Arboretum and the Japanese Garden.  Kathleen has gone to hang out with some friends at a birthday party and Mrs. Bratten has offered to pick them up until Erica calls to take Kathleen home.  It’s lovely weather for a day at the park and this peace is reflected on the faces of Callie and Erica as they shyly spend time together again.  As they walk they lightly brush hands and often catch each other looking.  Smiles and puffy clouds are the order of the day.  
  
An elderly couple is trying their best to keep up with what must be the world’s two cutest grandkids, and unfortunately, they are losing the battle.  Erica notices the young boy at the edge of a koi pond at the last moment and grabs him lifting him high in the air as she lifts him up.  Callie’s breath catches in her throat as she sees how beautiful Erica is holding that young boy up in the air and making him sail around in a long arc, away from the pond and then to the ground where she kneels to face him and tell him something that Callie can’t quite hear.  Erica’s laugh in that moment is the most precious thing that Callie has heard in a very long time.  Erica stands holding the boy’s hand and drags him off to the grandmother.  
  
“What?”  Erica asks as she walks back and Callie is smiling at her from the edge of the pond.  Callie is standing where the boy had been and she’s looking at Erica, but also behind her at the family retreating to the exit.  
  
Locking her eyes on Erica she asks, “If I fall in, will you swoop me up too?”  She bites her bottom lip and half gestures to the water.  Her brown eyes steadily focused on Erica’s blue ones.  
  
“Yes.”  Erica says letting all of the implications hang there in the fresh clear air of a perfect day with the perfect girl.  
  
***  
  
Callie had a great time on Saturday and fought her urge to call Erica Sunday and Monday.  Erica lost the battle of not wanting to call Callie, but every time she went to make that phone call a page came in, or Kathleen needed her, or there was some other matter that crept in.  Between Erica and Callie, there are no rules established, but neither wants to rush or push or mess up somehow.  Each time they met they connected more and felt more comfortable with each other.  As they spent time apart they realized that it made the time together that much more special.  Each fought impatience, but each cherished their time together.  
  
     On Tuesday Callie was sitting at the end of the couch waiting for Erica and Kathleen to come to the living room.  Kathleen came down the hall first and flopped down on the other couch.  Erica was walking in from the kitchen.  
  
“What’s wrong with you two?”  Kathleen asked the air sullenly.  
  
“Kathleen?”  Erica’s warning tone comes from the surprise her daughter gives, but Callie smirks.  The last time Kathleen got involved was a huge step forward, so she was curious about where this would take them.  
  
“You two are supposed to be best friends!  Claudia and I talk every single day.  We see each other every day that we can.  We go to the movies, chat on the computer, tell each other about our days, talk about people, share clothes, everything.  You two don’t even talk every day.  What’s wrong with you?”  
  
“What?”  Erica says from the doorway of the kitchen where she had stopped as soon as Kathleen had begun the interrogation.  Callie turned to Erica smiling at her as she gaped at her daughter.  
  
“Kathleen.  We’re just taking time to get to know each other better again.  It’s been a while and sometimes grown-ups are a little slower to be friends again.”  Callie is smiling at Kathleen as she speaks.  As she pauses she turns to Erica, “Is that my water?”  
  
Erica snaps out of her frozen state and moves into the room with the glass of water.  Callie takes it and pats the seat next to her on the couch.  Erica’s eyes catch hers and are full of uncertainty, but Callie meets her gaze head on and she sits down.  Kathleen has been thinking during this exchange, but as her Tante sat down next to Callie she smiled.  Callie shifts her glass to the far hand and places her near hand on the couch just barely touching the outside of Erica’s thigh.  Callie takes a breath and turns to Kathleen.  “Have you ever had a fight with a friend?  Have you and Claudia ever fought?”  Erica relaxes a little bit and her leg touches Callie’s hand just a little more.  
  
Kathleen nods thinking of her best friend, Claudia.  Her brow furrows and her eyes flash at Callie as she remembers a time she fought with Claudia.  Callie thinks this may be the best way to explain their reluctance.  “Yes.  We had a fight the night I was hit.”  
  
Erica gasps.  Kathleen looks down at her lap.  Callie’s mouth drops a little, but she shakes her shock off, “I’m sorry about that, Kathleen.  I sure didn’t mean to upset you.”  
  
“No, it’s okay.  It was stupid.”  Kathleen says shaking her head her bangs falling into her face covering her eyes, but her voice trembles a little giving her eyes away anyway.  “I was so mad that I told Mrs. Bratten that I needed to go home and get something.  My teddy bear.  I really just needed to get away from Claudia and I knew that I had to stay there because Tante was at work still.”  
  
Erica jumps up and sits on the love seat her arm around Kathleen.  “I’m so sorry, Little One.  I had no idea.”  
  
Kathleen leans into Erica’s arm and she smooths her black hair out tucking it behind her ear.  “No. It’s fine.  Claudia wouldn’t let me borrow her copy of Twilight even though I knew she was done with it.  She was reading Eclipse already she certainly didn’t need book 1 when she was reading book 3, but she didn’t want to loan me the book.  I didn’t want to buy the book because we are always so busy and Claudia had one she didn’t even need.”  
  
Erica is hugging Kathleen and rubbing her shoulder.  Apparently, she feels guilty and Callie feels bad for her, because she can only assume that it is the constant worry of a working mother and the battle for time.  However, Callie needs to get to her point so that this was not brought up for no reason.  “Kathleen, what happened to your friendship later?  Were you able to be friends again?”  
  
Kathleen looks up her brown eyes locked on Callie’s.  “You know we are.”  
  
“Did it happen right away?”  
  
“Well, kind of.  I mean she bought me all the books for when I came home from the hospital. And she said she was so sorry.  She made sure to come over every day.”  
  
“But was she the same friend to you from before?  Were you different?  Was she?”  
  
Kathleen tilts her head in thought her hair falling again.  “No.  It wasn’t the same right away.  I mean I had a lot of time at home; she went to school.  I wasn’t always happy to see her when she came and I’d pretend to be asleep or just not talk very much so that she’d go away.”  
  
“You had a hard time when you came back, huh?  You didn’t want to be at school; you weren’t on the best terms with your best friend and your Tante was still having to work a lot.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Eventually you were able to get back into school, get along with your friend again, and you’ve realized that you’re okay again.  Right?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Well, it’s not the same for your Tante and I, but we had a fight before she left to live with you.  We didn’t speak the entire time she was gone until you came into the hospital and we were forced to be face to face again.  It wasn’t easy, but we were able to start being friends again.  And you helped us the whole time.  But we are a little slower to get close again—slower than you and Claudia.”  
  
“I helped you?”  She looks at Erica and then Callie in amazement.  
  
Callie flashes her mega-watt smile over Kathleen, like a steady ray of sunshine that the girl didn’t even know that she needed.  “Of course, you did.  I wish that you didn’t have to get hurt, but if you hadn’t I would never have known that your Tante was back in town.”  
  
“I might have called.”  Erica chimes in but sits back silent after Callie gives her the bone-crusher stare down.  
  
Kathleen is thinking and looking at her hands.  “Well, without you I wouldn’t have gotten out of my funk, so you helped me too.”  
  
“Could you have rushed being okay with Claudia?  Made it go faster?  Could she have forced you to be okay with her sooner?”  
  
“No.  It had to happen in little bits.”  
  
“Well, that part is the same with your Tante and I.  We’ve had a year apart and we’ve each been through a lot and we’re different than we were a year ago.  Imagine if you and Claudia were separated for a year.  How much would change?  What would it feel like when you met again?”  
  
“It would be hard.  We changed so much just in the weeks I was at home and when I was on the limited school schedule.  So, it’d be hard.”  
  
“Well, it’s kind of like that with your Tante and I.”  Callie smiles at Kathleen, then turns to Erica, “But we’re trying.”  Erica smiles back at Callie from her side by Kathleen and relief seems to wash over her face.  “So, Kathleen, you have to be patient with us, okay?  We’re just a little slower.”  
  
Kathleen’s eyes flash with a familiar spark that Callie recognizes as the Torres Twinkle.  “Yeah, and you’re old, too.”  Callie and Kathleen burst into loud easy laughter.  Erica gasps pulling back from her daughter and slaps her on the arm.  “Ow.”  Kathleen holds her arm and pushes Erica away from her laughing even harder.  “Go sit over there with your BFF!”  Callie has tears in her eyes and she catches eyes with Kathleen only to send them both over the cliffs of merriment again, much to Erica’s chagrin.  
  
***  
  
Callie has been getting ready since she got home from her shift.  A shower, blow-drying, flat ironing, clothes—lots of clothes, Callie is still in a tank top and boy shorts as she continues to get ready when Cristina comes home.  She looks annoyed as she puts a long box on the counter in the kitchen.  “What’s going on?”  
  
“Here.”  Cristina hands Callie a card.  
  
“What?”  
  
“They were on the door step when I got here.”  Cristina shrugs and walks off to her bedroom to put her stuff away and get into comfy clothes like usual.  From her doorway she stops and asks, “You’re going out tonight?”  
  
“Yeah.”  Callie assures her.  Callie’s hands are shaking slightly as she looks down at the card in her hands.  Erica’s neat script pressing hard into the envelope.  Callie runs her finger over the letters smiling.  She leans against the counter and opens the card.  It is a card with a small drawing of a peach on it and a poem.    
  
_If you were a star that wasn’t expected back in the universe for a thousand years, I’d wait.  
If you were the sky and everyone went inside when you got sad and started to rain, I’d stay.  
And if you were a peach and the world decided to get rid of all peaches,  
I’d pick you up, put you in my pocket…  
…and keep you._  
  
When Callie opened the card several pieces of color card stock fell on the ground, but Callie didn’t pick them up right away.  She was much more interested in what Erica had taken the time to write on the inside of the simple ivory card.  It was in her same even printing and Callie smiled at the shape of the words, the texture of their press on the card, and then their meaning.  Callie’s eyes held onto their tears, hugging them just inside the lids keeping them safe.  She held the card close to her heart for a moment and then remembered the pieces of card stock on the floor.    
  
_Callie—  
  
When I first met you it was like our souls were connected somehow.  We seemed to already know each other, and instead of meeting you it was like remembering you.  I think you felt it too.  It’s why we fell into such an easy friendship, and why losing it was so much harder to handle._

_  
Seeing you again has been a reminder that the empty place life has always held—it has been saving for you.  I knew it a year ago and didn’t hang on tight enough to it.  I tried to forget, and I know you did too, but seeing you again has renewed that feeling, that knowledge that we are connected.  
  
_

_I don’t know the future.  Last year I could not have told you where I would be or what would have come to pass in these months.  It has been sad, but also exciting and confusing all rolled up together.  
  
_

_I can’t know the future, but I know that you are more than my present. I know I want you in my future.  
  
—Erica_  
  
Callie just holds the card standing there thinking.  What a year, more than a year, almost a year and a half—and here they were together again in some way and trying to figure a way forward.  In an effort to keep the tears back, Callie shakes her head and looks around the kitchen for something to do.  For the first time she understands why her mother was endlessly wiping down the counters and tables—always keeping busy.  Callie remembers the pieces of card stock that fell to the floor earlier and she stoops to pick them up.  As she picks them up and sets them on the counter, she flips them over reading each one.  There is a single word written on each one in Erica’s neat script.  
  
Pink: admiration.  Peach:  appreciation.  Orange: amazement.  Yellow:  friendship.  Fiery Red:  passion.  Cardinal Red:  desire.  
  
Callie looks at the cards spread out on the counter wondering what they mean.  She likes them, Erica took the time to make them and choose words and all that, but she’s not too sure what else to think, until she sees the long box on the counter that Cristina brought in.  Callie gasps and turns quickly to open the box.  Her eyes fill with tears that don’t fall as she pulls out a pink rose and lays it lengthwise over the pink word card:  admiration.  Next is a peach rose which she again lays lengthwise over the word card for appreciation.  For each word card there is a rose and Callie has taken over most of the counter with each rose laid out before her.  
  
“Making a floral arrangement?”  Cristina startles Callie as she continues to stare at the flowers.  Callie looks at her in surprise.  “Why are you still in your underwear?  I thought you were going out?”  
  
“Oh my god.  What time is it?”  
  
“Are these from Erica?”  
  
“Yes.  I, uh, I’ll clean up later.  I have to get dressed.”  Callie rushes to her bedroom and tries to quickly get dressed.  
  
Cristina cannot stop her curiosity and she approaches the counter to read the word cards.  “Well, well, Dr. Hahn.  Who knew you had skills?”  Cristina smiles and shakes her head.  She knows that love will change everything, she just doesn’t want to let other people know that she knows.  She grabs an old wine carafe to use as a vase and puts the flowers in there with some water in the middle of the kitchen counter.  She scoops up the word cards and isn’t sure what to do with them.  If she puts them under the carafe they might get ruined.  Cristina remembers some crappy cutsey photo holder that Izzie had given her and she hadn’t thrown away yet.  She goes to get it and clips each word card to the photo holder, which she places on the counter near the carafe of flowers.  Then she goes to hide in her room.  
  
Callie doesn’t even think twice about running to the door when she hears the knock.  She is so excited to see Erica.  It’s Friday and she hasn’t seen her in three days and they only talked enough to choose the day and time to go out before life drug them in separate ways again.  Breathlessly Callie opens the door and her mouth drops as she sees Erica dressed in form fitting black slacks that accentuate every curve of her body, and a maroon low scoop neck blouse that immediately draws Callie’s attention to the sparkling blue pendant hanging on her necklace.  Callie finally drags her eyes up to see Erica’s curls, her sideways knowing smile, a flush to her cheeks and a mischievous gleam in her eye.  “You look absolutely gorgeous, Callie.”  
  
Callie has straightened her hair, selected a dark green V-neck black top that hugs her body, with a simple chain necklace that draws Erica’s eye down from which she can’t help herself, but to go lower taking in all of Callie.  If the jeans could have fit her hips any better, Erica wasn’t sure how, and with her black leather boots she was easily as tall as Erica.  Once Callie realizes that Erica was staring with desire at her, she blushed a little and stepped to the side saying, “Come in.  Come in.”  
  
Erica passes in front of Callie and as she does she kisses her on the cheek and then hands her a single peach.  ‘I’d pick you up, put you in my pocket and keep you.’  Erica steps into the apartment looking around.  It’s been a long time since she was here last and that thought makes her a little apprehensive.  “I’m sorry it was only a half-dozen roses, but I wanted to start somewhere.  I was so worried that you’d hear me and catch me at the door or running down the hall like a crazy person.”  Callie shut the door as Erica began to ramble and she cut her off with a kiss.  
  
“I didn’t hear anything.  You were very covert.”  Callie smiles holding Erica to her, but still awkwardly holding the peach.  “I better put this down.”  She says turning to the counter.  
  
“Oh.  I guess you liked the roses, huh?”  Erica says as she turns with Callie into the kitchen and they both notice the floral arrangement.  She looks at Callie’s face, which is lit up with surprise and happiness.  
  
“I love them.  But I didn’t do this.”  
  
“You didn’t?”  
  
“Cristina.”  Callie says breathlessly to herself.  She can’t believe it and she didn’t even notice earlier, because she was in her room.  
  
“Yang?”  Erica asks quietly. “Cristina Yang did this?”  
  
“It couldn’t have been anyone else.”  Callie sets the perfect peach on the counter in front of the word card display and the carafe of flowers.  
  
***  
  
Matt’s in the Market allows for easy conversation.  Its panoramic view of Pike Place Market and subdued lighting make it a great place for conversation and flirting.  More flirting over drinks and dessert at Shea’s Lounge nearby provides a relaxed environment for continued flirting and light easy touches.  Callie and Erica have a relaxed easy evening.  The conversations stay away from serious topics, but the flirting keeps up a running commentary on its own.  Smiles and hands on arms are easy to come by.  It is completely different from a year ago, when they were nervous, unsure, and stressed out.  Now this was certain, calm, friendly, almost easy.  It wasn’t like they had just met, but they had just begun an official relationship instead of an unspoken mess of craziness that was just below the surface.  
  
They officially wanted to date.  They were already friendly.  They were already aware of each other’s history.  They were already over the whole dating a girl thing.  They were ready finally and they had found each other again.  This may have been their first official date, but it might as well have been their five thousandth date in a way.  Walking back to the car their hands brushed together, and Callie grabbed hold of Erica’s.  When Erica entwined their fingers in response, Callie smiled from ear to ear.  
  
“I’ll walk you to the door.”  
  
“You can come in if you want?”  
  
“Another time?”  
  
“Definitely.”  
  
“So do I get a second date?”  
  
“Yes.  You get a thousand and another thousand.”  
  
Callie kisses Erica her tongue trailing along Erica’s lower lip until Erica moans letting her in.  The hot velvet of Erica’s tongue dancing with her own, sent a shiver all the way down Callie’s body settling into her center.  Callie put her hands on Erica’s hips bringing her closer.  Erica pinned her against the door, her hands on either side of Callie’s face, holding on to her greatest desire—her greatest temptation.  Callie is trying to maneuver her keys and open the door, to drag Erica in with her, when Erica pulls away.  
  
Sighing deeply Erica says. “I had a great time tonight, Cal.  Thank you.”  
  
“How many dates do we need to go on?”  
  
“Three.”  Erica calls over her shoulder.  
  
“Then get back here.”  
  
“In the same week.”  She sing-songs back from a safe distance down the hall.  Then she hops into the elevator and is gone.  Callie quickly lets herself into the apartment and is immediately embarrassed to find a sleepy cranky Cristina who got up to investigate the noise at the door.  
  
Later Callie texts Erica and tries to get her third date for the week:  
  
_“What are you doing tomorrow?”  
“Babysitting the girls for Ms. Bratten.”  
“That would have been three dates.”  
“Don’t be sad.  We have thousands of dates.”_  
  
***  
  
Having lunch with the chief is always something that is noticed. It’s not necessarily a big deal, but it is noticed.  The comings and goings of the chief are important information.  Is the chief in a mood, on the warpath, making changes, or simply smiling and having a good time?  Why is the chief in whatever mood that is?  Why is the chief talking to that person and not this one?  Does it mean anything?  Is that a smile?  Is that a dirty look?  Is that a laugh of merriment or wicked fascination?  
  
These ponderings are constant all the time like reality tv show cameras, only they don’t follow the chief home, which leaves a blacked-out portion of the chief’s life that may or may not effect the chief at work on any given day.  Lack of knowledge creates curiosity.  Mystery brings out the desire to sleuth and snoop and spy.  A good chief knows about the constant watching, but a great chief knows about the powerful desire a lack of information creates.  A great chief lets slip just enough information to satisfy the crowd, and then sends them on their way.  
  
Chief Richard Webber has let it slip that he is:  ready to retire; having marital troubles; has lived in his office, the Archfield, and Derek’s extra trailer; he had an affair with Ellis Grey; he regards Meredith Grey as some kind of pseudo-daughter that he did very, very wrong; he will give his employees the benefit of the doubt even when there are serious issues involved; and he will use his power to crush if he needs to.  He has lived a complicated life and to be sure it has not been getting any less complicated as the years have gone by.  His estranged wife didn’t tell him that she was pregnant with a very dangerous after 50 pregnancy and she almost died on him.  His hospital has dropped to number 12 before his very eyes.  He has gone through two heads of cardiothoracics in the last five years.  His attendings, residents, and interns engage each other in on-call room sex square dancing as they change partners names and affiliations.  Chief Richard Webber is tired among all other things.  
  
Chief Erica Hahn has let very little information slip.  She is widely regarded as the best in cardiothoracic surgery although she will grudgingly admit that Preston Burke graduated at the top of their class and won the Harper Avery Award.  However, those who have worked with them both over the years will tell you without reservation that Dr. Hahn is the better surgeon, the better doctor—in short, the best man for the job.  A few grade points at graduation are neither here nor there in the realities of a medical career, and an award is a moment in time, not the full measure of lives impacted and innovations made as a result of a career’s worth of work.  Those who have experienced Dr. Hahn’s work will solemnly tell you that she will shape the future of cardiothoracics because of how she combines procedures, works with other disciplines, and encourages others to always seek beyond their best.  Dr. Hahn has let it slip that she took a leave of absence from SGH to deal with family issues.  She has let it slip that her only sister and her husband were killed in a horrible accident, leaving a teenage daughter behind.  She has let it slip the girl’s name is Kathleen and that she is the most important person in her life.  
  
Chief Erica Hahn is not tired.  She is excited by change, invigorated by life, and dedicated to making Northwest the best hospital that she possibly can.  Her interactions with staff are to the point, but they build trust, camaraderie, and inspire her department heads to treat their teams with the same humanity and expectation.  Dr. Hahn has as many medical books and journals in her office as she has leadership books and articles.  She is determined to make changes that she had begun at Seattle Grace, but to then challenge herself to go beyond that as well.  The stare of the ice queen has not been retired, but it is seldom used as she has changed her stance and no longer has need of it.  Professional expectations are clear on every level, and her reactions to people that push the limits have been up front, consistent and fearless.  The value of the death glare is its effectiveness, but more importantly its reputation and attendant consequences.  Despite that, curiosity still surrounds Chief Hahn, although it is a very different staff and a very different Hahn than was at Seattle Grace.  
  
“Wow.  This is YOUR hospital, Erica.  How cool is that?”  
  
“It’s pretty surreal still, I have to say.”  
  
“It’s a lovely facility.  Once Dr. Varner knew I was here to see the Chief, he took me on a tour.  I think he thought I was here about the orthopedics position you have.  How come you didn’t tell me about that?”  
  
“What?  Oh.  Tom, always the helpful one.  Yes.  We have an orthopedic opening in about a year.  Dr. Workman will be retiring then.  I didn’t tell you, because I…  Well, I didn’t think about it, or I over thought about it and well, now you know.”  
  
“You’re cute when you’re all flustered.”  
  
“Don’t you dare tell my staff that I’m cute.  I’m not Attila the Hahn anymore, but I don’t need to be all cute and flustered for them either.”  Erica is seriously defensive about her status at work, but Callie is all play.  She wants to fluster Erica, not torture her.  
  
“Oh. No.  I wouldn’t share that information with them.  I want to keep cute, flustered Erica all to myself.”  Callie reassures her, and with her eyes she shows Erica what she means by keeping her all to herself.  
  
Erica Marie Hahn blushes.  Her ears, her neck, her cheeks they all turn red.  Callie can’t help but chortle a giddy little laugh as Erica protests.  “Stop it.  You’re making it worse.  I never should have had you come here.”  
  
Callie cuts off mid-laugh, suddenly serious and a little whiney.  “But I haven’t seen you since Friday night.”  She lowers her face at Erica, jutting out her bottom lip, her eyes sullen.  
  
“Don’t pout.” It’s Erica’s turn to laugh now.  “That’s cute though.”  She points at Callie with her fork and smiles from her blue eyes to her blushing cheeks.  It is the most beautiful thing that Callie has seen.  
  
Callie shifts tactics and topics suddenly.  “But how am I supposed to get three dates in one week with you?”  
  
“Callie, don’t be impatient.  You’ll survive.”  Erica takes a bite of her salad smugly chewing as Callie begins to whine again.  
  
“But I have to get started on my thousand dates.”  
  
Erica rolls her eyes a little, “Don’t forget the other thousand.”  
  
“I so want to kiss you, right here, right now in the middle of your hospital.”  Erica looks right into Callie’s eye as she’s saying that and realizes it was the worst possible moment to be caught looking longingly at her.  Callie is so sweet, and she’s drawing her in with her words, her eyes, her sweet hesitancy—instead of tackling her to the ground and claiming her with a kiss.  
  
Erica breathes deliberately and looks down at the table for a moment to break Callie’s spell on her.  “Callie.  Ok.  So, tell me about the goings on of Seattle Grace.  Stevens, O’Malley, Karev, Yang, the Greys, Bailey, Shepherd, and Sloan.”  
  
“I see what you are doing.”  
  
“You do, huh.  What am I doing?”  
  
“Bringing up another topic, a decidedly unflirty topic.  And on purpose.”  
  
“Gold star for Torres.  If this was an interview, you’d get top marks.”  Erica makes a score mark in the air between them placing the gold star on the imaginary surgical board with their names on it.  They share a smile.  
  
“Oooh.  First you don’t even want to tell me about the job, and now you’re interviewing me?  So much for integrity, Chief Hahn.”  Callie knows she has Erica cornered as her jaw drops open and she looks at her in shock.  So, Callie goes in for the kill, “And I’m going to tell Kathleen on you.  You did so well on our date and then you didn’t call me, and now you’re being a downright bad girlfriend.”  
  
Callie and Erica’s eyes both go wide at the unexpected use of the G-Word.  Not in the same order or the same exact time but both Callie and Erica adjust their leg position, run their hand through their hair, take a sip of water, and clear their throats.  Then they look at each other still a little shocked and they each look away trying to find the G-Word Elephant that just ran through the room.  
  
Erica looks down and plays with her fork, but in a very low murmur she says, “No, I’m not.”  Thus, defending herself and claiming the title of girlfriend all in one very quiet maneuver of a few words.  
  
Callie makes a fist next to her plate.  Her hand is so close to Erica’s that it would be a very small gesture to lay it over the top for a second, or to curl her fingers around Erica’s, or to take her hand and drag her to the elevator.  So, Callie makes a fist to keep from doing any of those thoughts and she lets them run away after the G-Word Elephant and have their way with it.  “You’re a great girlfriend.”  Callie whispers back looking down at her plate.  
  
It’s silent for a moment or two as they just enjoy each other and take mental pictures of themselves sitting in the hospital cafeteria together:  planting the claiming flag of relationship into their newly claimed territory.  
  
“I, uh.  Wanted to talk to you about Kathleen actually.  So, I’m glad you brought her up.”  
  
“Oh.  Is she okay?  Nothing happened did it?”  
  
“I don’t know what to tell her.”  Callie looks at her in confusion.  “About us, Callie.”  Erica rolls her eyes bodily asking Callie to please keep up with her.  
  
“Oh, has she interrogated you some more?”  Erica nods slightly.

 

  
  
***

 


	4. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That's it ;) Another fic moved over. It has a been a joy to go back through a meet Callie and Erica and Addison and others again after so long away.

**_Moving Forward—part 4_**  
  
Dr. Thomas Varner is one of the many people noticing Chief Hahn.  He has a special interest in her since he’s known her longer than anyone here, and since he’s the only one that she has let get remotely personal.  He is curious about her and honored that she would choose him to be mildly personal with.  He is a curious man however and he pays attention to this mysterious lunch date that Chief Hahn is sharing a table with today.  
  
Scrubbing out of surgery later in the afternoon he approaches the surgical board to see what the afternoon’s selection is.  What will be on the menu for him to scrub in on, observe, or happily ignore?  He is drawn to the board this afternoon by the routine of checking it, and by the allure of talking to Chief Hahn as she examines the board surveying her kingdom.  “Busy afternoon?”  He says startling her.  
  
“Oh.  Tom.  How are you?”  
  
“Fine.  Fine.  Just looking for the catch of the day.  I see there’s a valve replacement in a half hour.”  
  
“Yeah, I was thinking of observing that one.  I haven’t seen Dr. Goldfarb in action yet.”  
  
“Maybe I’ll join you.”  He pauses looking at Erica, and she smiles at him.  “Was that an old colleague with you at lunch?”  Erica catches a sparkle in his eye and she feels like Kathleen is grilling her all over again.  Her answer to her daughter will be difficult in its explanation.  Her answer to her colleague is difficult because she has not gone over it in her head or with Callie.  She chooses to go with the bare minimum in this case and circle back as the time comes.  
  
“Yes.  Dr. Torres worked with me when I was at Seattle Grace.  She was also Kathleen’s doctor.”  Her formality and quick reply shuts down the curiosity on one front and steers it in the safe, happy direction of her daughter’s progress.  Dr. Varner lets the topic change go for now.  
  
“Oh.  How is Kathleen doing? Has she recovered and made up ground at school?”  
  
***  
  
Saturday sees them back in Washington Park Arboretum this time complete with a frisbee, a soccer ball and a kite.  Erica has packed a picnic lunch for all three of them.  Kathleen asked to spend the day with them and Erica and Callie were only too happy to give in to her request.  They each knew that Kathleen wanted to spy on them to see how they interacted with each other, but neither of them mentioned it to the other.  Really it was easier for them to let Kathleen see them interact together, than to explain in scary words to her, what they themselves hadn’t quite been willing to label.  
  
Kathleen laughs as first Erica and then Callie try to fly the kite.  Callie tells her to try it then, but admonishes her, “Just be careful with your running.  I don’t want you to get hurt since you’ve been recovering so well.”  
  
“Yes.  Callie.”  Kathleen sasses and sticks out her tongue.  “So, what do I do?”  
  
“You run with the kite behind you trying to make it catch the wind.”  
  
“Like this?”  
  
“Yes, sweetie.”  Callie turns to look around her because she can hear a large dog.  She turns just in time to see a big chocolate lab run up to her and take a big sniff along her leg.  It startles her and Erica laughs.  “Thanks for the warning, E.”  


“Oh, he’s friendly.  I was petting him a few minutes ago while you were coaching Kathleen.”  
  
“Is that your daughter?”  The lab’s owner asks Callie pointing at Kathleen.  
  
“Oh.  No.  Actually, she’s my friend’s daughter.”  
  
“Really?  She looks so much like you.  Well, you have a beautiful family.  Come on, Riley.”  The owner looks after his dog and pulls him away from the picnic basket and on their way back to wherever they were going.  
  
“Did you hear that?  We’re a beautiful family.”  Callie is happily joking as she turns to Erica.  However, her face drops as she looks at her.  “What?”  
  
“He said we’re a beautiful family?”  
  
“Yes.  Is that?  Is that okay?  Erica?  I thought that was a lovely compliment.”  Callie’s eyes fill with tears at Erica’s reaction.  Callie has tried to hold off on being too serious too quick, but she thinks it is cute that they could be mistaken for a family.  It is kind of like in junior high when you want everyone to think that your best friend is your sister or at least your cousin or something.  She turns away to call Kathleen back.  The kite is just not going to fly today.  
  
Then she feels Erica’s hand on hers.  Not lightly, but firmly grasping her own.  “I would like for you to be part of my family, Callie.  Of course. I would.  I just.  It’s the park and public, and Kathleen and that whole private bubble becoming public thing.”  
  
Callie squeezes Erica’s hand.  ‘That makes it all better’, she thinks.  ‘It’s not that you didn’t want me.  It’s that you’re still working through all of this and you have a daughter to work through it with as well.  I’ve already slept with half of Seattle and come out to the other half, so I don’t really have anything left to work through except my relationship with Erica and by extension Kathleen.’  Out loud she says, “We’ll work on it, then, okay?”  Callie nods at Erica and smiles.  A look passes between the two where they each want to kiss but hold back unsure.  Erica is unsure of where they are and Callie is unsure of how okay Erica is.  
  
“Hey.  This kite’s a dud.”  Kathleen says as she pads back and throws it down on the ground near the picnic blanket.  “What did you bring to drink, Tante?”  
  
***  
  
Callie is pacing the lobby of SGH when Erica arrives.  She smiles because the calm confident Cardio-Goddess looks nervous.  Callie would never tell her that Chief Hahn is cute when she’s nervous, but it makes her smile all the same.  Callie can’t contain her excitement and she meets her at the doors of the busy mid-day lobby.  “Hey there, gorgeous.”  Callie and Erica hug as they greet each other for the first time in days.  They each blush a little.  Callie lets her lips brush against Erica’s cheek, but feels Erica stiffen in response.  They break apart still holding both hands as they face each other, smiling despite the briefly awkward moment.  
  
“No, you’re the gorgeous one.”  They drop hands and head toward the cafeteria area to get their old table on the far edge of the outside eating area again.  
  
“Hey.  Stop stealing my lines.”  Callie teases as she hits Erica’s arm lightly.  
  
“Ok.  You’re horribly ugly and someone should hit you with the gorgeous stick?”  
  
“For a cardio super-genius, you are pretty dense.”  
  
“You sound like Kathleen.”  
  
“I’ll bet I do.”  Callie glances playfully at Erica as they walk.  “You don’t want to insult me, you know.  Just say how fabulously beautiful I am without using my line.”  
  
“Oh.  Fabulously beautiful?  In my own words, eh?”  Erica pretends to struggle with the concept of a comment to the love of her life, the breathtakingly beautiful Callie Torres.  
  
“Is that such a tall order?”  Callie pauses a little as she realizes that Erica isn’t coming up with anything.  
  
“Hmm.  Let me see.  How about `fabulosamente hermoso’.  Or is that not original enough?  How about:  `usted es así que hermoso, podría morir’?”  Callie’s face drops as she hears Erica speaking Spanish for the first time and getting it pretty close to right on.  She shakes her head trying not to pounce her in the walkway—and in disbelief at how Erica Hahn never ceases to amaze her.  
  
“See now.  That’s good.  You really should let me kiss you for that one.”  
  
Erica stops short and Callie stops with her turning to face her.  “Uh.  Callie—”   
  
“No.  It’s okay.  I know it’s the hospital and all.  I’m sorry about before.  I just.  Well, it’s okay.  I respect that some people don’t do PDA.  I forget sometimes and well, make an ass out of myself.  Erica?”  
  
“Callie.  No.  I’m the ass.  And we just haven’t established what we’re each okay with and where.  I’m still kind of new to all this relationship stuff, and it’s just.  Well, it takes some getting used to.  I shouldn’t have reacted like that earlier.  And.  And it makes me an ass because I kissed you on the surgical floor when Kathleen woke up in front of your residents and—”  
  
“Okay.  I’m so pretending that I’m shutting you up with a kiss.  Right now.  And we’re going to lunch and talking about this and whatever.  Okay?”  Callie smiles at her and takes her hand—that seems harmless enough.  Erica smiles at her and holds her hand back as they turn to keep walking toward the café.  “So where did you learn Spanish?”  


“Kathleen is taking it at the middle school and I of course have to do better than she is doing.  So, when I can, I study and chat with a couple of the doctors at Northwestern.  Of course, the beautiful parts are a bonus.   They don’t know why I want to learn to flirt in Spanish, but I think they just assume that anyone wanting to learn Spanish would want to flirt with it at some point.  Is that a Spanish speaking thing?”  
  
Callie almost trips she’s laughing so hard and she’s very glad that Erica’s hand in her own holds her upright enough to catch her balance again.  Suddenly she stops, drags Erica to her and she kisses her hard, her lips smashing into Erica’s, and her tongue seeking a passionate entrance into her mouth—earning a surprised moan from the tall blonde.  “El ligarse no es todo español es bueno para. Es la lengua del amor, mi amor.”  Callie utters breathlessly when she pulls away but looks into Erica’s eyes in a way that melts Erica to the floor.  
  
***  
  
“I don’t want this to be like a business meeting, but I have so much I want to talk to you about, Callie.”  Erica looks sheepish as she tries to begin the things she needs to say.  “Callie, I’m so glad that we are back in each other’s lives.”  
  
Callie smiles, her brown eyes sparkling as she observes the awkwardness that her girlfriend is putting herself through.  “I’m so glad that Kathleen forced us together.  I missed you so much, Erica.”  Callie reaches out and puts her hand on Erica’s.  
  
Erica adds her other hand over Callie’s and rubs her thumb along the back of her hand.  “So—”  
  
“Let’s start where we are right now, okay?”  Callie asks Erica who nods, “Here at SGH, I’m out.  Well to anyone that knew me a year ago, and anyone that’s too new, well, I don’t care.  So, for me public affection is okay.  I’ll follow your lead.  There could be some people here that go to Northwestern, so if you want to stick with handholding, that’s fine too.  And at your hospital, well, we can go by your rules.”  
  
Erica takes a deep breath.  “I don’t want to hide.  I just—”   
  
“You struggle with gossip, and professionalism and balancing it all.  Remember I know you.  And we don’t have to figure it all out right now.  It can change over time.”  
  
“Wow.  Callie.  I feel like we’ve switched places in some ways.”  
  
“Well, I stayed here and had to crash and burn through some issues in my own way.  And you had to go away and deal with other stuff.”  Callie motioned vaguely about the issues in the air, unsure of how to describe them best.  
  
Erica’s jaw is half open and she’s considering her next question carefully as she sorts through this new information.  “Ok.  So, we can be out at the hospitals, but keep it low key—hand holding and some kissing.”  Erica sighs.  “I feel better, I guess.”  
  
“It takes some getting used to.  I’m guessing that with Marisol, you didn’t deal with a lot of coming out issues.”  Callie stops and reaches her hand out to Erica again, whose face has fallen and she’s turned to look down at her plate.  “Erica.  I’m sorry.  I just.”  
  
“I can’t.  I didn’t.”  
  
“Erica.  We each had lives this past year.  You were with Marisol in California.  I was with…  Well.  I was not always alone.  We each dealt with different issues.  Unfortunately, we have to talk about them like they happened.  The important thing is that we’re here together now figuring it out.  And it’s so much better and different than last year, don’t you think?”  
  
“I.  Uh.  Yeah.  You’re right.  I guess I really focused more on Kathleen and mourning my sister than anything.”  
  
“We’ll do this together, okay.”  
  
“Okay.” Erica breathes a sigh of relief picking again at her plate of food.  
  
“What else is on your mind, Erica?”  
  
“Work and Kathleen and you—that’s all that’s ever on my mind.”  
  
“Well, we’ve covered work and us.  Well, I mean kind of.  We’re girlfriends and we’re okay with being out at the hospital.  So, Kathleen?”  
  
“I don’t know what to say to her.  How do I tell her about us?  I don’t know how to do this.”  
  
“Relax, Erica.  She’s already onto us.  Kathleen interrogates you and arranged a date for us.  We just need to let her know that she’s right, but it’s not like her friendship with Claudia.  You don’t have to know how to do this—she’ll tell you what she’s okay with.  And she wants you to be happy, Erica.  She told me to be your angel now and take care of you.”  
  
“Did you date a therapist while I was gone?”  Erica says in a joking fashion.  “You’ve sure changed a lot, Cal.  A real relationship Yoda or something.”  
  
“Oh.  Very funny.  I didn’t date a therapist and I didn’t date Yoda either.  But I do watch people and I’ve gotten to know Kathleen so I feel like I know a little bit about what she can handle.”  
  
“I’m mad I didn’t tell that guy we were together this weekend at the park.”  
  
“Erica.  You can’t be mad at yourself about that.  I just thought it was cute that he thought we were a cute family.  We look great together as a little group no matter what.”  
  
“Yeah.  We do.”  Erica gives a goofy smile across the table to Callie.  
  
“So does this mean that I get more dates?”  
  
“Yes, Callie.”  
  
“Can I have a sleep over?”  
  
“Callie.”  It’s a warning, but a promise all at the same time.  
  
***  
  
Callie pushes out of the OR into the scrub room and loud music follows her.  She smiles as she realizes that it is probably too loud, but that she doesn’t care.  Dr. Calliope Torres just rocked a bad ass ortho surgery where she not only reigned supreme and accomplished the impossible, but the patient lived too.  She has only had a few shining moments like this one and she is not about to turn down her volume as a surgeon, a person, or even on the radio.  She can’t wait to call Erica to tell her.  It reminds her of her first major surgery after Erica left and she can’t be happier to have that all behind her.  She rebuilt the patient’s legs, but he died of other injuries and she lost it over the patient and over herself.  
  
Chief Weber comes in while Callie is still scrubbing out.  “Dr. Torres, I’ve heard that the old Callie has been back here lately.”  
  
Callie beams a smile at him and nods.  “Yeah, Chief, I’m a little more put together these days.”  
  
Almost in a disconnected way he asks, “So, Dr. Hahn is at Northwestern?  How’s she like being chief?”  
  
Callie knows that he knows in that moment and her smile widens.  It feels good to not have secrets and to be filled with a boundless love.  “She loves it.  She can’t say enough about how wonderful it is there.”  Now she just has to figure out how to tell Erica about that boundless love business.  
  
Focused on scrubbing his hands Chief continues.  “Did she, uh, ever explain why she left?”  Callie smirks to herself knowing that he knows so much more than he is letting on.  
  
Callie thinks, ‘If he’s not saying, then I’m not saying.’  But it all makes her smile so she just casually throws out.  “Oh, a variety of reasons, you know.  I’m sure she’d explain if you wanted to talk to her.”  
  
“No.  Uh.  Well, just tell her I was very sorry to lose her.”  Callie leaves the scrub room thinking, ‘You weren’t as sorry to lose her as I was, but at least I have her back.’  Callie bounces as she walks toward the locker room to head out of there and call Erica.  
  
***  
  
“How was your lunch date?”  Cristina is surprised to see Callie when she gets home.  However, she has been dying to talk to her ever since that first date with the infamous and surprisingly romantic Erica Hahn.  Now that Cristina knows she has mad skills in the romance department, she is even more interested in her.  As if Cardio-Goddess isn’t enough, the woman has sweet romantic skills?  If not for Owen, Cristina would seriously consider renewing her fangirl membership to Hahnlovers Anonymous.  
  
Callie smiles.  “It was nice.  I think.”  Callie looks over at the word cards that are still in their holder on the counter.  The flowers died the horrible death that all flowers do, but the word cards in their little display keep the flame of thought alive.  “I mean we have a lot to work through, you know?  It’s sweet and wonderful.”  
  
“But?”  Cristina drags the word out so that it is a question.  
  
“But we are starting over and so it’s like we don’t know each other, so I have to constantly fight myself not to act like I know her as well as I do.”  
  
“And?”  Again, she drags it out to make it a question.  
  
“I’m horny?”  
  
“Ewww.”  
  
“You asked.”  Sour face from Cristina.  “No, I mean, I am.  Stop looking like that.  I just I’ve been through a lot in the last year and I know that I want to be with Erica.  When she holds me, I know that I am home.”  Sour face from Cristina.  “Stop it.  I know that sounds cheesy or whatever, but I can’t explain it otherwise, and it doesn’t have to do with the sex.  I know that she would protect me from anything that she could, and that she would walk through whatever I need to face by my side and holding my hand.”  
  
“Oh.  Wow.  Well, lunch went well.  Let me know when you’re moving out, okay?”  
  
Callie and Cristina laugh and then Cristina’s pager goes off ending the moment.  
  
***  
  
“Joe, call me a cab!  I must be drunk!  I’m hallucinating.”  Mark shouts as he sees Callie walk into Joes.  She shakes her head at him and signals Joe for a beer.  “What are you doing here?  I thought you were all in love and shit?”  
  
“Like you should talk, whipped little man.”  Callie turns on him with narrowed eyes.  
  
“Ouch.”  Mark says holding his hand over his heart like she damaged him.  “That hurt me in my heart parts.  Oh wait, Lexie is holding onto them.  I can’t be hurt by you.”  He gives her a sly look like he’s the cleverest boy ever to go to med school.  Callie can’t help but laugh at him.  He really is a cross between Georgie Porgie and Jack Horner who up until a year and a half ago would have humped anything that moved.  
  
“Oh, aren’t you the clever little man.”  
  
“Hey!  Why do you keep referring to my little man?  He’s lonely tonight so don’t give him attention that you aren’t going to follow up on.”  
  
“I’m calling Lexie.”  Callie announces as she pulls out her cell phone.  
  
“She’s in surgery.”  He says trying for nonchalance.  
  
“I’ll leave a message.”  Callie says and moves out of reach as Mark swings his arm out at her phone hand.  He stands up immediately.  Callie winks at him and steps farther away.  Mark follows but stops short when Callie holds her hand up to stop him and begins talking.  “Lex, I wanted to confirm dinner tomorrow night with you.  Mark didn’t know about it, but he says that it’s fine with him.”  
  
Mark visibly slumps with relief.  His shoulders slump and he hung his head forward.  Callie watches in amusement as he takes in a deep breath of relief before looking up into her eyes.  “Dinner?  That was your way of inviting us to dinner with you?”  He shakes his head and signals to Joe.  “You’re buying the next round, lady.”  
  
“As long as your little man keeps to himself, no problem.”  
  
“What is it with you tonight?”  
  
“I’m frustrated and want to share the wealth?”  
  
“Oh, is that why you’re here tonight?  I thought you were all cozy time in lesbian heaven with Erica.”  Mark said Erica’s name with a 14-year-old cheerleader sing song accent that makes Callie want to hurl and squeal with joy at the same time.  
  
“I am.”  Callie smirked at him.  
  
Just like Cristina, he asked it in one long word, “But?”  Callie tilted her head and widened her eyes in a ‘duh’ gesture that explained it all for him.  “Oh, frustrated.  But you had lunch the other day at the hospital, so it’s going well, right?”  
  
“What is it with you and Cristina?”  
  
“What?”  He asked as if connecting them had never happened before.  
  
“She was all about the report of information after the lunch too.  Asked the same thing.  Only you were okay with the hint of sex in my comment.  She wasn’t.”  
  
“She still can’t bear to lose you.”  Callie shook her head in a double take at him.  “No, we spied on you at lunch that day and it was clear that she’s in love with you.”  
  
“I think you mean she’s in love with Erica.”  
  
“Hmmm.  Maybe she wants you both?  You could keep her at home like a pet.”  Callie can almost see the thought bubble over his head with an image of Cristina in a sexy leather outfit complete with collar and looking for approval from both Erica and Callie.  
  
“Mark!”  Callie shrieks and slaps him on the arm.  
  
He laughs.  “But you didn’t object to my use of ‘home’ with Erica, just having Cristina there.  So lesbian heaven, you’re just slow on the sex.”  
  
Callie lets out a big sigh.  “Yeah.  Super slow.”  
  
“But you’ve had it and you know it’s good.  So, you have to do this right, right?”  
  
“Yes, mother.”  Callie says and rolls her eyes at him.  Then she looks at him over her beer bottle and downs a huge gulp.  He smiles at her and takes a gulp of his beer as well.  They sit for a moment in companionable silence as the tide of the bar ebbs and flows around them.  “Why is it I can call you mother and you’re cool with it, but the little man gets offended every time I make the littlest comment?”  
  
***  
  
Getting their schedules to line up has been part of the ‘slow down’ problem as Callie has labeled it.  She’s mostly fine with going slow with Erica, but there’s no way for them to break the three date requirement with their schedules.  It is with an undeniable joy that Callie was able to cancel a surgery on Wednesday afternoon and Erica happened to not be needed any more at the hospital.  It took some convincing but Chief Erica finally acquiesced to play hookey for the afternoon.  Callie is waiting in the living room for Erica when Kathleen sits down next to her.  Mrs. Bratten and Claudia are due to pick her up in a few minutes and then Callie and Erica are going out for a fun afternoon.  Callie used to feel awkward coming to Erica’s house.  There were so many things that had not been dealt with and she was always uneasy.  Then in working with Kathleen for physical therapy she had come to know the both of them in a somewhat professional way that helped her to be less uncomfortable.  Doing things as Dr. Torres always gave her an extra edge to push through discomfort in talking to people.  It was like a shield she could put on in order to wade through discomfort.  After several meetings and seeing Erica in various states like the time she came in on the cupcake flour covered Erica, Callie didn’t feel the need to bring her Dr. Torres shield anymore.  
  
Lately though Kathleen had taken to interrogating Erica and it made Callie uncomfortable because she knew what she would say to Erica’s daughter, but she wasn’t sure Erica would appreciate her honesty.  Callie had learned in the last year that while some topics needed to be handled delicately, it was better to be delicately honest instead of withholding information.  Kathleen had been through a lot, but losing her parents and the accident, did not make her immune from Callie’s honesty theory.  In fact, Callie thought that she had more of a right than anyone to have all the information.  As Kathleen sat next to her on the couch and looked her over Callie breathed deep and hoped that she was right.  
  
“Are you a lesbian?”  
  
Callie looks over the young girl a moment.  “Yes.”  
  
“Is my mom?  Is Tante lesbian?”  
  
“I can’t answer for her, Kathleen.  You should know that.”  
  
“I just am tired of watching the two of you and not understanding.”  
  
“Kathleen, I can answer your questions from my point of view, but I can’t answer for your Tante.”  
  
“But you’ll answer?”  
  
“Yes, but there may be a limit I’m not aware of that you’ll reach and I’ll stop, ok?  I have to have some kind of disclaimer.”  
  
Kathleen seems to weigh her thoughts in her mind and then she nods.  “When Tante was here originally and you were friends, were you together?”  
  
“Not exactly, but yes.”  
  
“What did you fight about?”  Callie looks shocked and Kathleen can tell she doesn’t want to answer.  “When I talked to you last time you said that you had a fight like Claudia and me.  But it wasn’t like us, was it?”  
  
“Oh.  You have a great memory, Kathleen.  Hmmm.  No, we didn’t fight like you and Claudia.  We were more than friends, but I made some really bad decisions because I was scared.  My decisions hurt your Tante and myself very much.  Then she left and I never thought I’d see her again.  I would never want you to get hurt Kathleen, but I was so glad to see your Tante.”  
  
“It’s okay.  She was miserable without you, and I’m okay so I’m glad that we went to your hospital.  If those people had known who I was I probably wouldn’t have come to you.”  
  
“I never thought of that.”  
  
“Yeah.  It was a close thing that I made it to you.”  Kathleen has quiet tears slipping down her face and Callie hugs her.  She is so glad that this girl is so wonderful.  Erica needs someone like her in her life.  She is glad that they have each other, and she is so happy that she is around to be a part of their lives.  Callie wants very badly to be a part of their lives.  She wants to have that family conversation again with Erica, but she doesn’t want to force anything either.  Callie is so touched by the moment that tears fill her own eyes.  After a few moments they pull back and look at each other taking in the shining tears in the other’s eyes.  They share a light giggle as they take in the moment.  “So, are you together now, then?”  
  
“Kathleen.”  Erica enters to find her girls crying and then Kathleen asking that.  Her protective gear comes up instantly.  Both tear stained faces look up at her sudden intrusion.  
  
“Tante.”  Kathleen says in reaction to Erica’s tone.  But Erica holds up her finger for silence.  She does not want to have this family discussion like this.  Erica wants to be sure of the success of this conversation and she does not want to fail in front of Callie.  “I just want to understand!”  Kathleen wails and runs down the hall to her room.  
  
Callie steps to Erica and takes her hand in her own.  “Don’t do that to her.”  
  
“What?”  Erica asks with a hard Dr. Hahn edge to her voice.  


“Don’t do that to me, either.”  Callie says quietly.  Callie holds the hand in hers up and caresses it and runs her fingers over the soft skin there as she chooses her words carefully.  “Erica, she knows, she’s trying to find ways to talk about it.  You are not giving her enough credit.  And you are selling yourself short.  You were upset that you didn’t tell that man at the park that we were a family.  So, don’t hide from it in your own house.”  
  
“Why did you tell her, Callie?”  
  
“I didn’t tell her.  Erica, she asked me if I was a lesbian and I said yes.  She asked if you were and I said I couldn’t answer for you.  I told her that if she wanted to ask me stuff she could, but that I could only answer so much.  She asked if we were together when you were here before and I said ‘kind of.’  She asked what we fought about because she knew it wasn’t like her and Claudia.  She finally got the courage to ask what she really wanted to know, and you shot her down.”  
  
“Oh, Callie.  This is so hard.”  
  
“But she’s trying to make it easy on you.  If you want, I’ll go with you and we can just tell her now.  There’s a little time before Mrs. Bratten comes to pick her up.  I know you don’t want her to be mad at you when she leaves today.”  
  
Callie hasn’t been on the end of the Dr. Hahn appraisal in a long time, but maybe it’s Erica’s Room-Mom-Kindergarten-Cop appraisal, at any rate she fights the urge to cower.  Erica nods one of her ‘decision-made’ nods and takes Callie’s hand pulling her down the hall to Kathleen’s room.  
  
“Kathleen, honey?”  Erica says as she opens the door to her bedroom.  Kathleen is sitting on the stool she has near the window.  Erica now knows where the missing barstool from the kitchen went and she smiles at her daughter.  “Kathleen, I’m ready to tell you if you still want to know.”  
  
Kathleen turns to face them and she wants to remain severe, but when she sees their fingers intertwined she can’t help but smile.  She looks toward her bed in a silent invitation to them.  “So, are you together?”  Kathleen can’t help but fix her eyes on Erica because as an almost teenager she does gravitate toward the more uncomfortable person in the room.  
  
Callie squeezes her hand reassuringly and Erica takes a deep breath.  “Yes.  We are together.  Is that okay with you, Kathleen?”  
  
“Yes.  She’s better for you than Tia Marisol.”  
  
“What?”  Erica can’t help but sound shocked.  Callie for her part has learned that this little Torres has a lot of tricks up her sleeve.  
  
“Oh, Tante.  You are such a silly.  I’m almost twelve already come on.”  
  
Callie can feel the conflicting waves of emotion boiling up inside of Erica.  She is incredibly thankful in that moment that they had already had their own conversation about Tia Marisol so that it wasn’t a shock to her.  “Erica, sweetie.  Isn’t that great?  Kathleen is fine with us together and she just wanted to know for sure?  I think that you were worried more than you needed to be.  What do you think?”  Callie hopes that she is able to keep the growing hysteria out of her voice and to keep her volume down as well, but she needs to focus Erica on Kathleen’s approval at the moment and away from the shock of her knowing about the affair with Marisol.  That rock can be turned over another day.  Callie hopes with all her might.  
  
Erica nods again in her focused serious way.  Then all seriousness is knocked out of her along with her air as Kathleen pounces her and throws her back on the bed in a crushing hug.  “I just wanted to know, Tante.  That’s all.  You were being so difficult.  I swear I don’t know what to do with you!”  Kathleen squeals as she crushes her Tante to the bed.  
  
Callie cannot stop her tears of joy.  Here she is holding Erica’s hand (her girlfriend), and her daughter has tackled her to the bed in excitement of how happy she is that they are together.  It reminded her of Saturday mornings when she had jumped into her parents’ bed and her father had tickled her relentlessly until her mother happily said “That’s enough.  Who wants French Toast?”  And lead the way to the kitchen.  Callie would always gather her breath as soon as she could and try to beat her father down the hall to the kitchen where she would squeal for her mom’s French Toast.  
  
***  
  
“The Liquor Company?  Callie, please what are you trying to do?  It’s only 2 in the afternoon!”  
  
Callie grabs her girlfriend by the hand and began the process of dragging her from the car to the building.  “Georgetown is where we are and it’s located in the old Liquor Company building—so, the Georgetown Liquor Company.  The food is so yummy Erica, I can’t believe you never made it down here.  Have you ever been to Georgetown?”  
  
“No.  It’s all industrial.”  Erica rolls her eyes.  “Callie, you are not going to start drinking this early.  I don’t want to drive your car.”  
  
“You’ll want me to drink so that you have a hope of beating me at Frogger!”  Callie drops her girlfriend’s hand hoping that her brilliant girlfriend will have the sense to follow her inside.  This place is not either of their usual, but Callie has fallen in love with it, especially the sci-fi theme, and the free classic Atari games.  Her favorite stores are in this neighborhood and she can’t wait to take Erica to them.  It has been a long time since she was excited to spend romantic time with someone.  As frustrated as she is about not being able to follow through on all those sweet kisses, Callie has to admit it is nice to really slow down and focus on Erica.  She is so beautiful and amazingly smart.  It doesn’t hurt that she is learning Spanish, is back in town, and has a lovely daughter in Kathleen (who is on Callie’s side).  No, none of those things hurt, but really Callie has known (even when she was gone) that Erica was the one her heart waited for.  It had been a year of growth and excitement, but not a year filled with love.  She longed for those quiet times with someone special like Erica where a simple hand holding felt like the safest, warmest, fullest embrace in the world.  
  
Callie turns after entering and sees Erica looking around in awe.  Callie swells with pride to have brought her somewhere new and somewhere that she seemed interested in figuring out.  “What’s this about a Frogger challenge?”  
  
“They have free Atari games and I am going to beat you in Frogger.”  Callie says as she goes back to link her arm in Erica’s and lead them to a far booth along the wall.  “But not until we’ve had their fantastic wild mushroom tamales.”  Callie lets Erica go long enough to sit opposite her in the booth.  
  
“Sounds like you have a full day planned.  What a great girlfriend you are.”  Erica says to Callie and winks.  Her sarcasm is not lost on Callie, but she chooses to focus on the fact that Erica called her girlfriend.  It is still new and definitely nice to hear.  Callie beams at her.  “What?”  Erica says with raised eye brows and a skeptical expression.  
  
“I can’t get enough of you saying girlfriend.”  Callie shrugs and then turns to look at the approaching waitress.  She orders for them and then began telling Erica all about her favorite stores down the way:  Georgetown Records and Fantagraphics comic book store.  Erica rolls her eyes about the comic books, but Callie guarantees that they will find something and that she wants to get Kathleen something too.  This pulls Erica in instantly.  
  
***  
  
Callie drags Erica into the comic book store even though she is not showing the smallest amount of interest.  Callie can tell that she enjoys the idea of Callie wanting to share with her, but she is trying to remain steadfastly disinterested even though her jaw dropped as she looked around at the bright displays and reluctantly remembered comic things from her youth.  Callie chuckles at her.  She knows that Erica will be drawn in at least a little bit.  Callie leaves her looking at some posters on the wall and talking to one of the other customers.  Callie is glad she is distracted so that she can get assistance from the information desk.  “Come on.”  She gently pulls Erica away from the posters.  
  
“What is that, Callie?”  Erica asks as they arrive at the aisle and heading that Callie is looking for.  She flips briefly and then pulls out a plastic slip cover with a book in it.  
  
“It’s a graphic novel called Stardust by Neil Gaiman.”  She shows it to Erica who just shakes her head in confusion at Callie’s animated joy.  “You know my favorite movie is Stardust, right?”  Erica sadly shakes her head, just a simple thing, but it is one of the many that she doesn’t know about her girl.  Callie gasps.  “Oh!  It became my favorite this year!”  Callie calms down a bit and asks Erica whether she knows about it or not.  “Have you seen it?”  Erica shakes her head ‘no’ and Callie barrels on.  “Oh, my god.  Well, you and Kathleen are reading this and then you are watching my favorite movie with me.”  
  
“I can’t wait.”  Erica says her voice and facial expression a strange cross between doubt and amusement.  
  
They roam the record shop after Callie pays for her book.  Erica shows her some of her favorite albums.  It is a very relaxed way to spend the afternoon and evening getting to know each other.  Callie likes to pick up weird CD covers and ask Erica’s opinion of them.  Callie very nearly drops the CD and has tears in her eyes when she shows Erica the Red Hot Chili Pepper’s album Mother’s Milk and Erica starts singing “Johnny, Kick A Hole in the Sky.”  To Callie’s utter shock and amusement Erica tells her about listening to it in college when she was angry with her roommate and nearly asphyxiating them both on cleaning chemicals in her frenzy.  
  
Walking back to the car Erica takes Callie’s hand and entwines their fingers.  Callie’s heart flutters faster in her chest and she wonders how after all that she’s been through such an innocent gesture can be the height of romanticism and deepest love.  A dampness in her panties speaks of the future but Callie is truly content just being with Erica.  Callie squeezes her hand as she realizes how much she had changed and how wonderful it all feels with the right person at the right time.  “I had a really great afternoon, Cal.”  Erica has pulled Callie to her as she leans against Callie’s drivers’ side door.  
  
“Is that so?”  
  
“Yes.”  Erica beams at her.  “I want you to know how glad I am that you dragged me down here and helped me have a special time.  I also notice how you always try to make things better with Kathleen.  You really are so important to me, Callie.  I hope you know that.”  Callie stares into her eyes before claiming her lips in a passionate kiss.  Just as she’s ready to pull back because she knows this is a very public kiss, Erica pulls her closer with both hands on her hips.  When they break apart for air Erica looks like she’s going to say something but instead she licks her lips and swallows as she tucks her hair behind her ears.  “Uh, so we’re still on for Friday night, right?”  
  
“You know this is the second date this week?  Here you are confirming our plans for Friday night?  If I didn’t know any better, Dr. Hahn, I’d think you were trying to squeeze three dates into the same week.  Getting antsy or something?”  Callie can’t help teasing Erica.  She is beyond frustrated and beyond pleased that apparently the Ice Queen is too.   
  
Erica leans forward and kisses Callie into a puddle of love before pulling back and adding in a low voice, “You have no idea, Callie.  You make me crazy.”  
  
Callie gulps down her desire in an awkward painful way because if she didn’t she was going to yank Erica into her backseat and ravish her on the spot—caveman style.  “Did you intend to kill me?  Because I don’t think I’ll make it until Friday.”  Callie whimpers as she looks at Erica again.  Erica shrugs and gives her a smirk before she walks around to the passenger side of the car and gets in.  
  
***  
  
“Erica?”  There’s a grunt of acknowledgment on the other end and Callie groans as she realizes that Erica is probably in a hurry to get out of her office for the day and send Kathleen on her way before Callie can arrive.  She groans because she’s not bringing good news.  “I don’t want to go out tonight.”  Callie manages to utter, but as soon as she’s said it she realizes it wasn’t exactly what she meant.  
  
“What?!”  Erica tries to hide her disappointment, but the shock is a foregone conclusion.  “What happened?  Are you okay?”  
  
Callie lets out a big sigh.  “I helped Bailey on a young boy today and he just…  He made it through the surgery and then died on the recovery table.  There was nothing we could do.”  Callie feels like a first-year intern with no answers, confidence, or words for the situation.  “It’s been a hard day.”  
  
“Are you okay to be alone?  I know you don’t want to go out, but if you don’t want to be alone, then we can stay in.”  


Silence.  Callie considers and Erica hopes she didn’t overstep.  
  
“Could you come here?  Cristina is out with Owen tonight and you’re right I don’t want to be alone.”  
  
“Yes, Cal.  No problem.  I just need to see Kathleen and send her on her way.”  
  
“I hate making you drive down here.”  
  
“Hey.  None of that.  You drive up here all the time.  It’s about time I visit you.”  
  
***  
  
Erica brings take out Thai food and they have a quiet dinner.  Relaxing on the couch Callie leans into Erica and takes comfort in her embrace.  Callie turns and presses her lips to Erica’s.  It is soft and sensuous, but Erica knows that it’s not what she needs.  Erica turns her back around and rubs her back.  Callie whines at first but Erica’s magic hands out pace her whining and soon she has relaxed quite a bit.  Erica just pulls Callie back against her and hits the remote for the DVD player.  Gentle caresses instill a sense of peace over the both of them and Callie snuggles against Erica in the soft silence of the room.  Erica kisses Callie’s hair and murmurs in her ear every now and then about how wonderful she smells and feels.    
  
Callie whimpers when Erica gets up to change the movie, but it is really just a disgruntled sound at being separated from her soothing heat.  Erica puts in the next movie and settles in behind Callie once again.  Callie turns her back to the television and half faces Erica and the back of the couch.  She claims her lips with sweet kisses and her free hand strokes the side of her face and down along her neck to her breast.  Erica continues to kiss Callie and hold her tightly in her arms.  Eventually Erica slows Callie down and presses her head to her chest and strokes her hair.  The sounds of the movie and their breathing are the only life in the darkening room.  Eventually they both fall asleep and the movie ends with Callie wrapped tightly in Erica’s embrace.  
  
Callie wakes up in the cold quiet house.  The TV and DVD have long since shut off and all Callie can feel is the love and safety of Erica’s warm embrace around her.  Callie pulls back slightly as Erica’s arms slide down her back.  She stares at her still sleeping girlfriend.  Even in her slumbers Callie knows that Erica would take care of her, make her part of her family.  They haven’t said the words yet, but the feeling is there.  It is unlike any feeling she has ever had and Callie knows that it will never fade and never falter.  Looking at her face in the moonlight Callie realizes that she hasn’t even thought about her day since Erica walked in.  Her blue eyes shared a calm with her and made their evening serene.  They have been dating for some time now and Kathleen is supportive, so even though they have more to get through Callie feels like they have officially arrived.  Erica coming over to take care of her was just as good and Callie holding her when Kathleen was in the hospital.  It didn’t matter which one was the strong one, because they were strong in each other.  
  
“Erica, honey.  Wake up.”  Callie caresses her hair and then her face as she watches her lover wake from gentle slumbers.  “Come on, honey.”  Callie says, her voice thick with the peace she was full of.  Callie gently kisses the corners of Erica’s mouth and then trails her tongue along Erica’s lower lip.  “Erica.”  Her hands come up around Callie and rub along her back.  Erica whimpers and then starts to kiss Callie back as she wakes up.  Callie moans into the kiss and slips her tongue into Erica’s mouth.  Erica’s tongue tentatively responds and as she wakes up it turns passionate.  
  
Callie pulls back once she is satisfied that Erica is not going to pull away and go home for the night like the other dates.  Rising to her feet Callie stretches and Erica looks at her through half lidded lusted over eyes.  Callie reaches down and grabs Erica’s hand pulling her along with her down the hall to her bedroom.  Callie remembers this was the third date in the same week and she plans to make full use of that detail if Erica tries to resist her.  They were meant to be together and you could feel that from the moment that they started over, but this slow build has taken long enough and Callie knows their hearts are already joined permanently and it is time to become physically intimate as well.  
  
Callie easily coaxes a sleepy Erica to the bed where she sits on the edge.  Callie having napped has come fully awake and she thinks she has just the thing to wake up Erica.  Callie takes off her shirt and runs her hands over her body.  Erica’s mouth falls and Callie comes to stand in between her legs on the bedside.  “I know we haven’t been ‘dating’ very long.”  Callie kisses Erica until she whimpers.  She pulls back and breathlessly whispers in her ear, “It’s been so long, Erica.  A year ago, we started and didn’t get to finish.”  Erica’s hands roam over Callie’s bare skin and then tangle in her hair.  “It’s been months since Kathleen came to the hospital and weeks since I ended her physical therapy.”  Callie pulls back and Erica’s hands fall helplessly at her sides.  “I know it’s been a long time.”  Callie sucks Erica’s bottom lip and then kisses her lightly.  She kisses along her jaw line and licks that tender spot just below her earlobe.  Erica shivers.  “I just want everything to be right.”  Callie slides her hands along Erica’s sides and finding the hem of her shirt she begins to pull it up and over her head.  Erica’s nipples harden under the lace of her bra as Callie drops the shirt to the floor.  Callie steps back to undo her pants and shimmy them down her legs.  “I’ve missed you so much.”  Once again Callie claims Erica’s lips with her own.  Erica’s hands roam all over Callie’s exposed skin as if she can possess her with simple caresses.  Callie trails her hands down to Erica’s waist as she lowers her body until she is kneeling in front of Erica.  Callie bites and sucks Erica’s nipple through the lace as her hands work over the button of Erica’s slacks and lower the zipper.  Erica’s breathing has sped up and any resistance that she may have considered is gone now.  She lifts her hips when Callie signals to her and finds herself divested of both pants and panties all at once.  
  
Erica’s blue eyes lock on Callie’s in so many unspoken questions.  It is soon, but Callie is right—it has also been a long time.  Callie signals Erica to get in the bed and when they are situated facing each other Callie resumes kissing her senseless.  She reaches her arm around Erica in a practiced maneuver and unclasps her bra.  Erica moans into Callie’s mouth as she feels her breasts fall free.  Callie pushes Erica back onto the mattress to lay flat and then straddles her.  Erica, naked and distracted with desire, looks up at Callie once again.  “I’ve waited a life time to say this and mean it.”  Callie reaches between her breasts and undoes the front clasp of her bra.  Callie lowers the straps down her arms and drops it off the bed.  “I’ve waited for someone who held me like there was no letting go.”  Callie leans down to claim Erica’s lips in a fiery kiss and their naked breasts press against each other for the first time since their first reunion.  Callie pulls back and kisses her way down Erica’s body as she moves down the bed.  Looking up at Erica from her perch over her navel she adds, “I’ve waited to make up for my mistakes and for the pain of losing you to lessen.”  
  
“Callie—” Erica begins to protest and pull at Callie’s arms to bring her up.  
  
Callie shakes her head to stop Erica, but she slides her warm naked torso back up along Erica’s until she is face to face with her.  “I love you.  I’ve always loved you, but now I know I love you in every way I possibly can.”  Callie slides down next to her as they kiss.  Erica turns into the kiss not wanting to break the spell or the moment.  Callie’s hand runs over her shoulder and down along her ribs.  Before her hand can crest the hill of her hips and slide down to where she so desperately wants to go, Erica stops her with her hand over hers.  
  
“I love you, Callie.”  Erica hugs her close to her in the tight embrace that they both have come to rely on—the embrace that they both recognize as the cornerstone of their love.  When she pulls back from her Erica wipes the few stray tears that have trickled down Callie’s cheeks away.  Then she kisses her until they are both moaning into it.  Erica pushes Callie to lay flat on the mattress.  “Callie, you make me happy.  I’m so glad that we got a chance to start over.”  Erica kisses down Callie’s jaw until she can suck on her pulse point.  Callie throws her head back and mutters under her breath as Erica’s lips circle around her nipple and suck forcefully.  Erica sits up to the side of Callie’s legs and runs her hands down Callie’s sides.  She hooks her thumbs in Callie’s lacy panties and slides them down her legs.  
  
Erica pulls back until she is kneeling and then she kisses Callie’s legs and stomach causing her hips to buck up into her.  Callie reaches out and pulls Erica up to her.  “I want to look in your eyes.  Please.  I want to love you.”  Erica props herself on an elbow to the side of Callie and kisses her again.  Their hands mirror each other as they cup the sensitive skin below each other’s breasts.  Twin sensations echo through their closed circuit as their fingers pinch and twist.  Their bodies moaning and writhing in tandem are filled with hot desire.  A few minutes of gentle touches build until they moan their mutual release into each other’s mouths and grasp tightly to each other.  It all began with the safety and solidity of their embrace and in the end that is all they need.  All things will fall into place from here as long as they lean into each other and trust that this is all they need.  
  
  
**_THE END_**

****

**_***_ **


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